Acid Queen

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Lady Lola: A | Grade It Now!
Acid Queen

We open, as ever, at The Bench. Sam leaves a voicemail for Cady, who's giving him a dose of his own medicine by avoiding his calls since she left for New Mexico. Out on the floor, JBL and Ben debate how to deal with Steve and Tony, The Gays Next Door, who are actually demons. JBL insists they move out, but realistic Ben reminds him that they're broke losers...and bound by a lease.

They discuss the pros of being neighborly with The Gays -- namely, beer tasting parties, shopping sprees, and birthday gifts. Turns out, Sam and JBL forgot Ben's birthday, so The Gays took him to an "awesome bar." He tells Sam and JBL the name of the bar, and, if you hadn't already guessed, it was a gay bar. This disclosure sheds light on lots of things for Ben -- probably, for example, what that lump was when a tall, husky-voiced lady with an Adam's apple sat in his lap...

JBL steers the conversation back to the unavoidable truth -- The Gays Next Door, no matter how delicious smelling they are, are still demons. The Stooges agree to put some distance between themselves and The Gays. Tedager interrupts and sends them back to work. As they head outside, they pause to listen as Tedager slips right off of the chair they just shellacked with two bottles of wax. Andi joins their snickering, then takes Sam aside to apologize for talking smack about Cady. Sam says she was trying to be a good friend. But there's more... Seeing him with Cady made Andi realize she has feelings for Sam. Sam, confronted with the utter realization of his dreams, doesn't know how to respond. But it doesn't matter because Andi flees before he has the chance.

Later, at the apartment, Ben receives a text from The Gays. JBL discourages him from responding. Inside, they find a discombobulated Sam. He starts to tell them about Andi's revelation when they hear a knock on the door. JBL loses the game of "Not it!" and finds The Gays holding a muffin platter on the other side. Steve innocently asks where The Stooges have been, and Tony asks JBL why he was a no-show for yoga. Commence awkward break-up metaphor. Sam finally bites the bullet, with Ben interjecting some "It's not you, it's us" prattle. Steve is heart-stricken, and Tony suggests they leave before they "do something that [they'll] regret."

The next morning The Stooges unload fertilizer at The Bench. Ben says he thinks he heard one of The Gays crying through the wall. JBL tells Ben to stay strong, punctuating his point by throwing a bag of fertilizer at Sam. Sam, of course, doesn't catch it, and the bag of dried up feces bursts open. Sam finally explains that he's distracted because Andi revealed her feelings for him. The Stooges tell him to go for it, but he feels bad about Cady. JBL rightly notes that Andi liking Sam is pretty much his wildest dream come true. Sam waffles, but JBL tells him to make it happen. Sam heads inside and helps Andi with a display rack. Andi blathers about putting Sam in a weird position, but Sam tells her not to be sorry. He tries to move in the direction of courtship, but she -- again! -- takes off before he has the chance. For Satan's sake!

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