Cash Out

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B+ | Grade It Now!
Cash Out

WiseGuy hands Sam his next dossier -- 14 years ago, two bank robbers named Thaddeus Johnson and Paul Hwang robbed $10 million from a bank and got away. Unfortunately, the evil geniuses ended up shooting each other after a scuffle, and no one ever found their loot. Now Johnson is back. WiseGuy tells Sam it should be a quickie. When Sam turns his back to head out, WiseGuy reappropriates Beelzebabe's voice to reiterate "quickie." Sam tells WiseGuy to knock it off, but he's vanished, as usual, and left the vessel on Sam's bed.

That night, The Stooges are at Johnson's McMansion. JBL harasses Sam about Cady and says he won't stop until he reaches the truth. A light comes on in the McMansion, so they fetch the vessel. They open the box,'s one of those old school lighters that flips open. Given Sam's motor skills with the other vessels, perhaps his own stupidity will outweigh Johnson's. JBL inexplicably pulls out some hose (what's with this week and hoses?), and they head to the McMansion.

They bang the lion's-head door knocker. Johnson opens the door in a porn-star uniform -- boxers, gold chain, and a floor-length, fully open, satin bathrobe. They take The Bench's name in vain, claiming they're there to test radon levels. JBL shows the hose, and Ben extends his tape measure -- because flagrant visual metaphors for sex never get old. They head inside, and the place is decked out not unlike Johnson's attire -- zebra carpeting, cheetah love seats, and lots of mod furniture. JBL compliments his bachelor aesthetic, and Sam uses the distraction to make a pathetic attempt at sparking the vessel. His failure tips off Johnson, who escapes by walking through a wall.

They run into the hallway, and spot Johnson. He vanishes through a locked door, so they skedaddle back into the living room to trace Johnson's escape route. It leads them to a mishmash of Japanese war paraphernalia also known as the master bedroom. Johnson sticks his head through the door, then disappears again when Sam spots him. They bang on the locked door until JBL makes use of one of the samurai accoutrements to bust through.

Johnson tries to bargain with them. He goes behind a curtain and pulls out a shoebox full o' cash; he offers it to them, if they'll just let him free, then throws some cash at them. Instead, though, he pulls a gun from another shoebox and shoots it at them. Sam's finally able to switch on the lighter, and Johnson is sucked back into the void. Ben hobbles over to the curtain, and there are dozens of boxes full of cash behind it. Moral dilemma!

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