Greg, Schmeg

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Fools in Love

In The Bench parking lot, Sam and JBL caucus about Sam's upcoming date with Andi. JBL offers his Caddy to give the date an air of "old-school elegance." Perhaps flashing back to License To Drive, Sam tries to pass, but JBL will not be refused. Sam demurs, and, conveniently, JBL has left the gas tank empty. Nicely played, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Later, Sam and Andi are parked on Makeout Hill. And I swear, if she stands on the hood in stilettos and drunk-dances to "Strangers in the Night," I will turn off this DVR right now... So, Andi keeps interrupting their making out with questions about Sam's various reaps. He'd rather slide into second base, but the reap-splanations seem to be some kind of foreplay for her.

No matter, though, because they're soon interrupted by suspicious sounds. They look back, then front, finally spying some sort of Jason Voorhees-meets-Crash Test Dummy standing in the headlights and holding a chainsaw. Sam doesn't yet have a vessel, and, while he fumbles to start the car, the chainsaw-wielding maniac goes to town on the hood. Next, he stalks around the car, lops off the rearview mirror, and even gets as far as to thrust the chainsaw at Sam through the passenger seat window. Our feckless hero finally gets the car started and peels out of the parking lot, leaving Chainsaw McGillicuddy all by his lonesome on Makeout Hill.

The next morning, JBL surveys the damage. Sam apologizes and says he should have taken his own car, but JBL sees the silver lining -- Sam would most certainly be dead in the puny Prius. He lets out a brazen "Go America," and kicks the Cadillac to show how "solid" it is. Of course, some sort of fixture falls off, effecting grimaces all around. That'll be one more for the scrap heap!

Walking into The Bench, JBL and Ben interrogate Sam about Chainsaw McG. Ben's ball-and-chain green card wife drives up. She reminds him to make the bed before leaving home. He rationalizes that he shouldn't have to since he sleeps not in the bed, but in a yoga mat in the kitchen. This, in turn, reminds her to tell him to clean that little nuisance up, too. Whupaw!

Andi asks Sam if he's sure WiseGuy didn't mention anything about a new demon, but Sam says he hasn't talked to WiseGuy recently. JBL declares that someone must pay for the heinous desecration of the Caddy. Cut to him slapping an invoice on Gladys's desk. Gladys isn't exactly pulling out her wallet, but she does produce a clipboard that features some of "Hell's Most Wanted" -- one of whom is Abraham Lincoln? No luck, though, Chainsaw McG isn't there. Gladys proposes he might be human and shoos them away.

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