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Greg, Schmeg

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Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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Fools in Love

Over at the hospital, Ben and Cassidy have another cafeteria picnic. She admits she's getting into this affair thing -- all the secrecy, none of the guilt. Ben drops the bombshell about Dawn's pregnancy. He assures her it's not his baby but tells Cassidy he can't see her anymore because of his commitment to Dawn.

In The Bench parking lot, JBL tries to gloss over the damages to the Cadillac, but Sam would rather focus on his plan to win back Andi. Sam thinks that he can undo some of Greg's control over Andi if he keeps reminding her of that she loves Sam. JBL wonder whether Andi actually loves Sam, and Sam has to admit she's never actually said it. Sam walks off, flustered, while JBL launches into a 10 Things I Hate About You-style oration, all, "There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack!" (Okay, he didn't say that exactly, but there were shoes mentioned...)

Inside, Sam finds Andi in the stock room. After some babbling, he comes straight out with it and asks if she loves him. She gives a coy smile and says yes. He's overjoyed and tells her she needs to avoid Greg at all costs. She points out that this might be difficult since Greg knows where she works and lives, but Sam suggests they run off...to Buffalo! Even as he's dreaming up their trips to Niagara Falls, though, Greg calls Andi on her mobile. Already under his spell, Andi spills all the beans about Sam's fanciful escape to Buffalo. Greg gets angry on the other end, but Andi is dumbfounded when she sees Chainsaw McG behind Sam.

As Chainsaw McG revs up, Sam aims the vessel -- badly -- at him and misfires. Chainsaw McG is not pleased and takes off after Andi. Sam pushes him into a shelf, delaying Chainsaw McG long enough for them to hide. Andi freaks out, asking Sam what to do, but Sam is too busy sneezing from the smell of cologne. (Hint, hint.) They take off running, and Sam pushes Andi into an air vent, then heads in another direction, tripping along the way. He looks up and sees, surprise!, WiseGuy, who offers his hand and says, "Come with me if you want to live," smacking with irony.

Sam, now aware that Chainsaw McG is actually Greg, is transported to the bar. WiseGuy is pleased that Sam has finally come around, so he buys a round for everyone. He tells Sam that Chainsaw McG is the embodiment of Greg's Id, and that Greg might not even be aware of this fact. He tells Sam that, basically, he's in an unwinnable situation that could eventually lead to Andi in a million little pieces...unless Sam kills Greg. He calls it a "no-brainer" but stops just short of getting the whole bar to chant, "Do it! Do it!"

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