Hungry For Fame

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Lady Lola: A | Grade It Now!
Hungry For Fame

Inside, Andi and Sam have a typical "Let's freak out our paranoid manager, Ted" conversation that involves JBL faking a seizure and workman's comp. She leaves, and Sam looks out the break room window. He should see The Bench's lovely cement interior, but instead he spies WiseGuy flashing his used car salesman grin atop a pier.

Sam opens the blinds and, with the help of that old black magic, walks out onto the dock. He and WiseGuy talk as a musician strums his electric guitar nearby. WiseGuy expostulates on the freshness of the sea and directs Sam's attention to a corpse in the water. It's just the latest victim of the latest escapee from Hell, Philip Carmona, who cannibalizes his prey. WiseGuy suspects Carmona will return to "finish his meal."

While Sam's digesting that information, WiseGuy segues into his worldly alter ego, Gerry Belvedere, and starts chatting up the musician (Jamie Kennedy). He tells a sob story about his wife leaving him, and, basically, he's every brokenhearted rock 'n' roll wannabe you've ever averted your eyes from on a street corner. But WiseGuy sees potential...for exploitation. He hands over his card. The musician continues his riff on "Loser in A Minor" by introducing himself with his stage name, Ryan. So simple, yet so lame.

Gerry, née WiseGuy, proposes they make a deal. Sam, knowing how this little ditty will play out, decides to intervene. Knowing how protective WiseGuy is over his "business," this do-goodery will inevitably bite Sam in the ass -- pun intended. Also? Let me just say, if you want to see the most hot mess, tranny train wreck, Brian De Palma-directed, fierce version of how this scenario could end, Netflix Phantom of the Paradise. You'll probably regret it, but you won't forget it. So...WiseGuy appears touchy that Sam has called him " a morally bankrupt, evil being," but then retorts, "then this makes perfect sense," and hoists Sam off the pier. Awesome. Sam lands in a pile of glass-shard-laced fake snow back at The Bench, and bounces onto the floor. Among the Christmas presents is the vessel that Sam will use to reap Carmona.

A bit later, B-babe strolls into The Bench as Andi and Sam take a break. An awkward meet-and-greet proceeds. Andi immediately notices the necklace on B-babe. Andi shoots Sam a none-too-pleased look and leaves, telling Cady to "enjoy your necklace." B-babe picks up on Andi's mean girl vibe. Sam comes to Andi's defense, which only angers Cady and places him square in the Bermuda Triangle of Love. She slams the necklace down and leaves.

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