Francis's ex-girlfriend, Olivia, shows up at court with a sob story about how her coach was attacked by pagans, but it turns out she's here because she's the latest salvo in Evil Anne of Green Gables's war against Mary. Evil Anne flings Olivia vagina-first at Francis, who's torn between the girl who let him touch her squishy places and the one he's been promised to marry since he was five. Francis makes cry faces for an hour while everyone falls in lust with Bash, because he's the best.
In lady-in-waiting news, Aylee gets caught light-fingering some of Mary's jewelry by Evil Anne of Green Gables, who pressures Aylee to bring her all of Mary's letters to her mom, so Evil Anne will know more of what Mary's thinking. But it turns out Aylee has confessed all to Mary and they're feeding Evil Anne bad intel.
And Mary finds out that Kenna has become King Henry's junior mistress. She makes a sad face and pouts about what a whore Kenna is, because the show is now Team Whores vs. Team Virgins… and we know what side Mary's on.
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You know the drill: Mary is Teen of Scots. She lives in France now. But Francis, her betrothed, is kind of rubbish, so Mary's been kind of making sex eyes at Francis's bastard half-brother, Bash. And Evil Anne of Green Gables wants to stab her in the face, forever and ever, amen.
A carriage carrying two young women rolls down the road. A young man jumps out from the brush to interrupt and say the road ahead is flooded. He tells the coach master the best way to go is through the woods. And since the young fellow is a ginger, I'm sure he's evil. The coach master tips him and the young ginger clutches a necklace that has left a brand on his skin.
As the coach moves through the woods, an axle breaks and the ladies inside gasp in fear. They hear pagan dialect outside, along with the sound of blades, as if people are being stabbed. One of the girls goes outside to investigate; she hears the other begging for her life, even though there was no one else in the coach. The second girl's lifeless body collapses out the other door, her throat slit. The first girl flees into the woods.
At the castle in France, Mary and Francis stroll together and talk, prosaically, about politics and their engagement until Mary interrupts Francis because she wants to be just a girl and a boy talking about their relationship. Francis, kind of charmingly, says he's now all about dedicating himself to Mary. He hems and haws and finally asks if she wants to, you know, if she's not busy on Friday or whatever, go with him to the Harvest Festival. They banter cutely about how she shouldn't let him kiss her and then they make out, and it's a shame Francis can't grow a real beard.
The girl from the carriage flees through the woods, watched by a raven.
Mary and her ladies let a fellow at the festival tell them how they should write their regrets on a small model ship and sail it away. Bash interrupts, fully recovered, and greets all the girls and flirts outrageously with all of them. Bash is the best. He observes that Mary is quite a bit cheerier than she's been lately and she says all she requires is that a gentleman not try to kill her and she's super cheerful. Bash raises his glass, all, "Well, I'll have to get drunk off my face at your wedding." Lola checks out Bash's ass as he leaves, because Lola knows what's up.
Lola also cautions Mary as Bash leaves, reminding Mary that she didn't grow up in a convent, so she knows what boys like. Mary brushes off all of Lola's concerns, and Kenna points out an old, curly-haired man who's been ogling Greer. Despite the fact that the man is old and gray, Greer is intrigued, since Lord What's His Name is a Hapsburg. She fucks off to snag herself a man.