Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: C | 108 USERS: B
Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary

Mary, with her giant pet wolfhound, sits by the water and plays with rocks. Her dog pops up and starts barking at something in the woods. His name is Stirling. I hope Stirling is around always. Stirling for king of France!

Mary knocks on Francis's door. She's brought him some rocks to decorate the swords he makes, and he chastises her for not following protocol and letting the pages announce her properly. She's upset and asks if he's with someone. He snaps that kings do not answer to their wives and slams the door. Aww. The widdle Fwancis had a tantrum.

Mary flings her lovingly collected rocks into a bonfire. Fire! It's foreshadowing! Stirling, still barking, runs toward the forest, riling up all the birds. Mary runs after him and Sebastian, on his horse, intercepts her before she makes it into the woods. Man, her ladies are really falling down on the job. Sebastian tells her that young ladies -- especially young lady queens -- do not leave the castle alone. There is something ever-so-slightly Young Alan Ruck–y about Sebastian.

Mary—who let's not forget just watched her friend Sister Helen choke and bleed and die because of food meant for her—dumbly asks why she can't just run around wherever she likes. "Because you're a chess piece in a thousand-year game being played by the religious fanatics who control this continent," Sebastian doesn't tell her. He assures her Stirling will find his way back to the nice warm castle. He asks what she's upset about and she tells him to go talk to Francis, who's a moody, arrogant ass. Sebastian smirkily reminds her that he and Francis are half brothers, but that he, Sebastian, got all the good qualities, and promises to find Stirling. Mary, this one seems way less sickly.

Lola's in the bath when Colin shows up to surprise her; they make out and then Lola says they need permission to have a relationship. So they go ask Catherine, who starts out all pleasant and charmed by the romance of Colin borrowing money to come to France for Lola. She inquires about his family -- Colin's father served the late king of Scotland. Catherine seized on the fact that Colin's people were servants, and congratulates him for rising so high. The queen sends Lola off help Mary dress for the wedding. The delighted little idiot curtsies and scampers off. Catherine's ladies clear the room as well, and Colin's eyebrows are very concerned.

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