Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: C | 108 USERS: B
Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary

Aylee's asking Mary about her conversation with Sebastian, whose nickname is Bash. She doesn't think it's coincidental that he found her by the forest, and tells Mary about Bash's terrible reputation with ladies. Mary says it must run in the family. Aylee goes off to find the servants to prepare Mary's bath.

Mary takes off her earrings, and then finds the stones she'd collected earlier -- the ones she threw in the fire -- back in a small decorative bowl. She wanders around the chamber, looking for anyone, and after she puts her hand on a screen, another hand appears on the other side. "Taste of love and sorrow, but don't drink the wine. Don't," a voice rasps. So Mary's met Rose's ghosts. She pushes behind the screen, where there's a lit candle, which is what cast the shadow of the woman's hand, and then she pushes open a door to what looks like an awesome secret passageway.

Wedding time! Lola looks for Colin, and finds him bringing Mary a goblet of wine. He offers a toast, and Mary hears in her head an echo of the ghost's rasp: "Don't drink the wine." She doesn't, and Colin skulks off. Oh, Catherine is so going to kill him. Lola is watching all this, Greer next to her, both of them disturbed.

Mary grabs the girls, tells them to take off their shoes, and they go dance in their lusty Scottish way. Francis still has a bit of his "Ew, girls" phase on his face. Henry watches, Diane smirking smugly next to him, and Catherine dryly observes, "We're overrun by Scots." Mary twirls, her girls dancing around her, while Bash watches, smoldering. And then it starts raining feathers? Sure. Mary remembers when she and Francis destroyed a pillow as children, apparently. Man, Elizabeth and Philip's wedding sure doesn't involve much Elizabeth and Philip.

Ah, there they are. They're escorted out, because it's time for the consummation. Kenna grabs Mary's arm and asks if she isn't curious about "the ritual, the ceremony, the mystery." The girls run off while Francis and Sebastian watch.

The five girls hide themselves in a room off the royal bedroom so they can be very well born Peeping Toms. Aylee is scandalized, but Kenna asks Mary if she doesn't want to know what she's in for someday. From behind a screen, they watch as a priest chants and Elizabeth's ladies undress her and put her nightgown on her. Along with the priest, there are half a dozen other old dudes there to witness the deflowering. Philip comes in, happy and Spanish as you please (and not twenty years older than poor Lizzie and on his third marriage, as he was in reality), and tells her the two of them are the only ones who matter. He kisses her and moves her toward the bed. Kenna's a bit turned on. Moaning ensues.

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