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The Paris Death Match

They both go to leave, but Sloane stops Sydney. Uncle Arvin brings up Syd's visit to the hospital and how Auntie Em brought up some, shall we say, sensitive information. He yammers on about how the divulging of such sensitive information would usually require a deliberate course of action, as Sydney well knows. With just a crook of her eyebrow, Jennifer Garner manages to communicate that Sloane's referring to Dead Danny. "Because she's not likely to last the week," croaks Arvin, "I was able to sustain a reprieve." With just that break in his voice, Ron Rifkin manages to communicate that the inevitable death of his wife is truly killing him. It's a truly excellent scene, folks. Truly.

Arvin goes on to thank Syd for being such a good friend to Auntie Em, as well as to him. "It was your duty to report Emily to security section," he says. "You didn't. And that's more than I did for you." After digesting this little nugget, Syd heads directly over to The Sub-basement Of Dreams And Desires so she can unload her sob stories to her non-boyfriend.

Agent Apathy's all, please tell me you don't have sympathy for Arvin Sloane. Syd's all, no, dude. It's just, he expressed regret about what he did to Danny and, like, it made me all tingly inside and -- Agent Apathy's all, dude? He'd kill you just as soon look at you so, like, park your "tingliness" at the door, okay? He quickly moves on to agent business and says that they'll deal with the loss of the Rambaldi document later because, after all, everyone's used to Syd screwing up missions.

Agent Apathy goes on to say something about a contingency plan that the CIA has come up with to keep Willage safe. The plan, apparently, involves either witness protection or recruitment. Oh, please. These are the choices? Syd's not down with the recruitment option. Vaughn's all, well, I don't really care what you're down with, okay? They bicker back and forth about Willage's status in the spy world. The whole scene ends with Sydney blubbering on about how Vaughn gets to tell people that he works for the CIA, while she has to come up with whoppers about international banking and hiking in the mountains. Syd says that, now that Willage knows the truth, he'll never trust her again. "You should have seen his face in Paris," she says. "It was like he was looking at a stranger." "But he wasn't," says Vaughn. "He was looking at you. Maybe for the first time. He was looking at you." Pass the tissues, okay? No, not because I'm gonna cry. Because I'm just about to HURL ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD and I'll need the tissues to clean up the mess. Shut up, Agent Amorous.

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