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The Paris Death Match

Humble Abode Of Screw-Up Spies And Their Moronic Cohorts. Francie, Syd, and Willage are noshing on some salad and watching a soap opera. Syd and Francie kibitz about the plot while Willage morosely eats his croutons and continues to wax paranoiac about his upcoming meeting with Deep Throat. Syd and Francie try to break Willage's reverie, but only a phone call from Deep Throat can do that. Cue the cell phone. Deep Throat is about to give Willage instructions.

We don't hear them, however, because we quickly cut to Commander Stupid in his office. Agent Sean enters, and is none too pleased because Devlin just tore him a new one. Turns out that Agent Sean took a bullet for Vaughn by claiming responsibility for Vaughn leaving Sark before he was secured. Aw. Agent Sean. Expressing his platonic non-gay love for his partner. What a guy.

Vaughn thanks him. "I lied," says Agent Sean, "to save your ass." Vaughn's all, you didn't have to do that. Agent Sean's all, hey man, think nothin' of it. That's what partners do for each other, right? Oh, except that YOU SUCK AND YOU NEED TO GET OVER THIS FUCKING SYDNEY THING BEFORE I SHOVE YOUR HEAD INTO A FILING CABINET AND SLAM IT A COUPLE OF TIMES. HARD. Vaughn's all, dude, I'm Sydney's handler, okay? She's my responsibility. Agent Sean's all, look. Call it whatever you want, crush-boy. Your little relationship with your non-girlfriend is starting to affect ME, and I'm gettin' kind of SICK of it, okay? There's a line that we're not supposed to cross here and, like, we're about four billion feet past it and we're parked there with our tents and our fishing rods and, like, it's time to head home to electricity and our DVDs, all right?

Is it wrong that I am TOTALLY digging Agent Sean's chili right now? Ripping into Vaughn like he is, Agent Sean is really doing it for me. He's all quiet and decent and everything but, like, he's totally kicking ass right now. If he wanted to? I'd let him be my boyfriend. Really.

Wendy Kroy: Honey, he is NOT your type.
Regina: He is when he goes off on Vaughn like that. Besides, how would you know what my "type" is, anyway?
Wendy Kroy: Excuse me? Have we or have we not known each other for years?
Regina: So? My mother's known me for years too. Doesn't mean she knows what my type is.
Wendy Kroy: Hello? Are we forgetting Wedge? Are we forgetting Hank4? Are we forgetting everything I've witnessed for the PAST TWO YEARS?

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