Lou and Candy walk out of a movie theater, and Lou suggests getting coffee. Candy turns him down because his "secret admirer" is there. Lou glances at Sandra, standing nearby and pretending to read a magazine. He asks Candy if he can pay her next time, and Candy says that since he paid for the movie, they can call it even. Wow. Either movies got a lot more expensive in New York recently, or she's a really cheap whore.
Tommy and Mariel go out to dinner. For a dinner with her half-brother, Mariel is wearing a tube top with her boobs totally squeezed out the top. They discuss all of the kinds of alcohol that Tommy used to be into, and Mariel says he's funny. Tommy tells her that she's gorgeous, and Mariel says that she feels the same about him. Really? I can see thinking that Tommy is kind of hot, but "gorgeous"? Mariel says Tommy's been keeping her up nights since they met. Tommy points out the "ick factor." Mariel says she's not sure they have the same father, because her mother was "a bit of a whore." Pa Gavin is definitely Father Murph's father, but wasn't the only one in the picture when Mariel was conceived. Mariel knew, but she and her mother kept it from Father Murph because he was "sensitive" about their mother's sexual habits, and in order to keep it a secret, they didn't tell Pa Gavin either.
Cut to Tommy and Mariel making out in her apartment. Tommy breaks it off and says that he can't do it. Mariel says that he could it he wanted to, and Tommy paces around and says he's got "want up the ying-yang." I didn't really want to think about Tommy's ying-yang. Mariel asks if it's "the sister thing," and Tommy suggests that they get a blood test so that they can know for sure. Mariel seems amenable, and Tommy runs out of there.
The whole crew is sitting around in the breakroom when Chief runs in and says that his wife is having a party. The crew cheers, and Lou asks what the occasion is. Chief says that it's Steve's birthday, and Mike asks, "Gay Steve?" The room falls silent. Tommy says that he has a two-to-three day AA festival to attend. Lou says that he has a bad back, and Franco offers to help him work on it. Garrity stutters and stammers but doesn't actually come up with an excuse. Mike says flat-out that he's scared of gay people. Heh. Franco says he'll be helping Lou with his back. Laura offers to bring the cake. Chief comes back to Garrity, who says he has a doctor's appointment. Chief asks what kind of doctor, and Garrity says, "The, uh, ass doctor?" Garrity's kind of obsessed with asses, isn't he? Chief scoffs that it took Garrity thirty seconds to come up with a lame excuse, and that he won't accept it. In fact, Chief announces, that he's telling everyone they have to attend.