Rescue Me

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Kim: A | Grade It Now!

The crew arrives at Stephen's party. Remember that episode of The Simpsons where the steelworkers were totally gay? Yeah, that's what this party looks like. "I Will Survive" plays as tons of gay men dance in the front yard and on the porch. There's a pink banner hanging from the porch that reads "Happy Birthday Steven," and it has two very scantily clad, muscle-bound firefighters pictures on it, holding hoses. Tommy comments that they should have brought the engine, because "this place could go up in flames at any minute."

Tommy, Lou, Garrity, and Mike stand out on chief's front porch and stare in the windows. Inside, Chief looks on with disgust as a guy twirls through his living room. Garrity bops around to the music, and Tommy asks if Garrity has to take a piss. Lou orders Mike to go in and get them some booze, because he would win a contest for "Gayest-Looking Guy on the Crew." I kind of think Franco would win, but whatever. Garrity is all upset that he wouldn't win the contest. Franco and Laura show up with cakes. Garrity asks if they think he would win the "Who Looks Gayer?" contest, and Franco says that Garrity would win because he has a better body. Garrity does a fist-pump as Lou orders Mike to get the booze. Mike resignedly heads in.

In the kitchen, Chief complains to Jeannie about the size and scope of the party, saying that it's turned into "a full-blown fag-fest." Jeannie, who is wearing a pink furry tiara, tells him not to be a grump.

Mike walks outside with an armful of "cosmos, appletinis and a couple wine coolers." Laura grabs a wine cooler and says, "God, even I feel gay drinking this." Wine coolers don't make me feel gay; they make me feel sixteen. And slightly sick to my stomach. Mike adds that the party seems pretty cool, and that there were "real chicks" inside, so he's going back in. Garrity follows him, to see the chicks, although Tommy warns him that he'll have to fight through "ten yards of gay" to get to them. Laura chuckles and starts to head inside, giving Franco a look first. Franco says he's going to go in and check it out to avoid being rude. Tommy and Lou don't move.

Lou talks to Sandra on his phone and says that he can't see her right now because he's at a party for work. Sandra thinks that "Linda" is there, and makes plans to head right over. Lou tries to discourage her from doing that, but Sandra bullies him into revealing his location.

Garrity drunkenly heads to the back porch. Laura follows him and compliments his dance moves. Garrity lights a cigarette and says that there aren't many women inside, so he's surprised that Franco stuck around so long, seeing how he's a "pussy hound" and all. Laura thinks Franco has changed lately, and Garrity laughs and says that Franco will be "chasing tail until the day he dies." At first I thought Garrity was trying to clue Laura in, since he knows Franco and Laura are dating. But then Garrity lets slip about Franco's nurse/drug source and gives a look like, "Crap, I didn't mean to say that." So I guess Garrity's just dumb and drunk. Laura seems hurt and asks why Garrity is telling her that. Garrity claims that it's part of making amends, and Laura angrily says that Franco is supposed to make amends for himself. She storms off.

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Rescue Me




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