Later, the guys hang out outside the firehouse, shooting the shit. Lou tells the guys that, the other night, he was out with his wife, and he saw Newbie in a bar, making out with some chick. No one is that interested until Lou reveals that the chick was old enough to be Newbie's mother. Maybe it was his mother! No, this show isn't Nip/Tuck. The guys want details, and Lou guesses that the woman was in her late forties. Franco makes a disgusted face.
Newbie walks out, in the middle of washing the truck. Tommy, ever the gentleman, asks if Newbie is "banging some old broad," and Lou advises him that broken hips take a long time to heal. Oh, Lou. That was the best you could do? Newbie protests that the woman is only forty-six. Garrity says that's nothing in dog years, and Franco thinks that calculation is probably appropriate. Newbie says that the guys can give him all the shit they want, because Paula is great, and she taught him how to please a woman. Lou doesn't think that's possible. Newbie says she taught him how to do the Venus Butterfly. Tommy wants details. Yeah, so does everyone who ever watched L.A. Law. Newbie explains that it starts when you're performing oral sex on a chick. Lou asks if that's required, and Newbie says yes. Lou: "All right, I'm out. But keep going." Newbie explains that you put "two fingers in her area and another finger in another area." Franco says he's done that. Garrity is confused about the multiple areas, as is Lou. Tommy explains that they're talking about the back and the front area. Garrity still doesn't understand how it's possible, so Newbie demonstrates with his hand. I think this is the dirtiest thing I've ever seen on cable television. Newbie promises that it drives chicks crazy. Garrity says he's going to try it, and Tommy says he might too, but that Newbie still isn't getting paid for working on the deck.
That night, Tommy watches baseball in his house, which is still damaged from the fire. He peeks across the street at Janet's house and spies her standing in the kitchen. Jimmy shows up and says that they have some problems, and asks if Tommy is really getting a jogging path named after Vito. Tommy says it's a complicated process. Jimmy advises Tommy that you can't give to one without giving to the other, and apparently there's a near-riot in Dead People Land. Tommy gets frustrated and starts yelling at Jimmy, but there's a knock at the door. It's Sheila. She barges in, apologizing for showing up without calling. She says she's been a wreck since Tommy drove her home the other night. Tommy doesn't want Jimmy hearing this, so he says he'll meet Sheila in the driveway. As soon as Sheila's out, Jimmy's all over Tommy, asking what's going on. Tommy lies that Ryan has been calling her all the time, and won't leave her alone. Jimmy thanks Tommy for taking care of it. Is it still lying if the person you're lying to is dead and/or imaginary? I guess it's symbolically like Tommy lying to himself. Which we know he does A LOT.