Rescue Me

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Kim: B | Grade It Now!

In the firehouse, the guys can't believe Shinsky is willing to pay $2000, since they only got $600 for the last one they did. Tommy says they can get the lumber for about $300 and divide the rest of the money. Lou and Franco are in. Newbie wants in too, but Tommy says that on his first job, he won't get paid. Lou adds that Newbie will also do all the work while the other guys sit around and drink beer. Tommy adds that Newbie also has to buy the beer. Newbie says that he just remembered that he's busy, and Tommy says, "Yeah, you're busy helping us, queerbait." Hee! "Queerbait." I know that's offensive, but I just haven't heard that particular insult since about the fourth grade. Tommy asks Bill if he's in, and Bill says he's not. When Tommy asks why not, Bill gets up and leaves. The other guys wonder what his problem is, but before they can figure it out, they get a call.

Fire trucks scream down the street. Have I ever mentioned that I live across the street from a firehouse? It's all volunteer, so the dudes don't live there like they do on this show. But what I don't get is why, in this day and age, we still need fire whistles or sirens or whatever. Don't they all have pagers? Because that thing is really loud, and it always seems to go off at 4 AM. Plus, the area I live in is pretty rural, so I doubt all the volunteers live within hearing range anyway. But I digress. In the truck, Garrity asks Franco if he's made the call about the calendar. Franco says they need a picture, and when Garrity says he doesn't have one, Franco offers to take one. Tommy asks what they're talking about, and Franco tells him, as Garrity adds that Franco gets to pick his own month. Newbie takes the bait and asks what month Franco wants. Garrity suggests February, to work the Valentine angle. Franco quickly says that it's the shortest month of the year, so no go. Newbie asks what's a good month. Franco says you don't want December, because no one will see it until the end of the year, so you have to get in the first half of the year. He guesses he'll take April or May. Tommy looks disgusted, and Newbie looks fascinated. Franco concludes, "Yeah, it's a science. And I'm a mad scientist."

The truck pulls up to a building on fire. Chief calls in on his radio as a woman clutches his arm, sobbing. Chief yells out instructions to Tommy as he heads up the fire escape. Inside, on the first floor, a shopkeeper tries to throw water on the flames, but the firefighters pull him out. Moments later, the fire is out. Franco finds a disposable camera in the shop and suggests that they do Garrity's photo shoot right now. Garrity takes off his helmet and coat, and Franco tells him to pull up his shirt so they can see his abs. Franco starts snapping photos as Lou asks what they're doing. Garrity explains, and Lou asks if they're doing "an all-geek theme this year." Lou demonstrates how Garrity should pull his shirt up, and then shows how to breathe out like he's just come out of a fire and is getting his first breath of fresh air. Garrity agrees that it's hot. Lou continues to art-direct the photo shoot, ordering Garrity to lean forward to flex his muscles, and then to show a little nipple. He even says, "We're losing our light." Hee! Lou asks Chief is he has any suggestions. Chief says, "Yeah, I got a suggestion for the three of you. You go right from here down to the health office, and you have your testosterone checked, because you're all down a quart." Chief walks out, and Lou continues to show Garrity how to pose.

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Rescue Me




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