Rescue Me

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!

Tommy walks over to his locker, and when he opens it, Bobby Vincent's head is inside. He asks, "Hey, Tommy. What's the plan, man?" Tommy looks horrified and slams his locker shut quickly. The Chief walks up and starts complaining to Tommy about the Giants, and how they lost a game because they couldn't score from the four-yard line. He says that he lost a lot of money, so he's decided to find out where the Giants players live, set their houses on fire, and then tell them that he can't put it out because he only brought four yards of hose. Tommy chuckles, and then starts to tell Chief what Grinch said. Chief says that Grinch can "kiss [his] fat, white, Irish ass," and that Tommy should do the opposite of what Grinch told him to do. Tommy asks if he can get someone to cover his shift, because of his wife Janet's date. The Chief is sympathetic, and asks Tommy what the odds are of him and Janet actually breaking up. Tommy glares at him and asks, "There's a pool on my divorce?" The Chief says no, but then says that he'll give Tommy the night off if he gives him the odds. Tommy says it's 60-40 divorce right now. The Chief is psyched, but then apologizes, and thanks Tommy for the info.

Tommy walks back over to his locker and opens it slowly. The head is gone. Garrity sneaks up and scares the shit out of Tommy, who yells at him. Garrity says that Lou is in the can, crying. Tommy is surprised, and Garrity swears on his mother's grave. Tommy reminds him that his mother is still alive. Garrity says, "Well no, I meant when she dies, God forbid. Knock on wood. Shit. Uh, all right. My father's grave. How's that?" Tommy is taken aback to hear that Garrity's father is dead, and Garrity says that it happened years ago, and that it was "ass cancer." Tommy asks about that, and Garrity says, "Yeah, you know. Postrate [sic]?" Tommy stares at him for a second, and then says, "Yeah. Sorry, bro," and walks off.

Tommy finds Lou and asks if he's okay. Lou wipes some tears, and blames it on the onions, explaining that he's helping the probie make his first meal. Tommy gets his first look at their probie, Mike. Tommy complains that there are two many "Mike"s around there, and lists them off with the help of his co-workers: "Polish Mike, Irish Mike, Mike the Mick, Big Mike, Little Mike." Tommy asks if the probie is Jewish, because he could be Mike the Kike. The probie says he's Italian, and Garrity says that they already have a Guinea Mike, as well as a Mike the Wop. Lou declares that the probie shall be known as New Mike, and Tommy agrees. New Mike looks worried and asks what will happen if he's there for ten years. Tommy says it won't be a problem, and orders the kid to get him a coffee.

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Rescue Me




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