As Tommy sleeps on his couch, an unseen figure pours lighter fluid on the floor around him. Tommy gets squirted in the face, and wakes up to find that Jimmy is the firebug. Jimmy accuses Tommy of banging his wife. Tommy tries to deny it, and then says that Sheila wanted it. Jimmy angrily yells that his "cousin" and "best friend" is "a worthless piece of shit," and then drops a match. Which raises the question: if an imaginary person starts a fire, is the fire real? Tommy tries to stomp out the fire as Jimmy says, "Burn in hell, asshole." Tommy goes up in flames and falls to the floor.
And then Janet asks, "What are you doing?" Tommy says he was having a nightmare that he was on fire. Janet asks if he was drinking last night. Tommy says no, and gives Asshole a bone. Janet tells Tommy that she went to the mall last night, and all her credit cards were turned down. And then the bank called her and said that Tommy's late on the car and house payments. Tommy says that he screwed up. Janet says emotionally that she needs $4000 to make the house, car, and AMEX payments. Tommy asks where he's going to get that kind of money. Janet asks about his side jobs. Tommy says he's got nothing this week, and Janet turns away from him and pouts. Tommy points out that the kids go to school at 8:30, and after all their activities, don't get home until 4:30, so Janet could take a part-time job while they're gone. Janet says that she'd be happy to get a job, but that she'd have to hire a housekeeper and a cook to do her household work. Or she could get the kids to do it. They're old enough. Or she could do what many other people in the world do, which is to do the chores after work. While the kids are doing homework or watching TV or whatever. I'm not saying that the kids don't benefit from having Janet around; I'm just saying that it's a luxury, and it sounds like it's one the family can't afford right now. Tommy starts bitching about how big and expensive their house is, and they argue for a while about who demanded such a big house. Tommy drops the information that he grew up with six kids sharing two rooms, which Janet has heard a million times. So there are more Gavins! I can't wait to meet them. Janet accuses Tommy of spying on her and ruining her relationship with Roger. Tommy says that Roger was an asshole, and that he thought he was helping. Janet says that if Tommy wants to help, he'll find the money. When she leaves, Tommy smashes a coffee mug.
On his way to work, Tommy runs red lights and nearly causes more than a few accidents. Tommy cackles with glee until he gets pulled over, and then he curses about as much as you would expect. The cop recognizes him, and Tommy lies that his mother had a heart attack and he's on the way to the hospital. The cop calls bullshit, and adds that firefighters aren't getting a free 9/11 pass anymore. Tommy says that no one is forgetting about the cops who died. The cop isn't pacified. Tommy reminds him that they have a hockey game coming up, and the cop says he's not worried. He adds that he hopes Tommy's mother doesn't die while he writes the ticket, and walks away.













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