Rescue Me

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!

Mike walks into the kitchen at the firehouse, and Lou asks if he did anything fun last night. Mike happily says he went out with his girl. Lou says he heard that she's gigantic, and in fact, he "saw her swatting planes away from the Empire State Building." Mike says he's going to invite her to the firehouse, and Lou will see that she's hot. Lou says they'll need to "reinforce the floors and raise the ceiling five feet." Garrity walks in arm-in-arm with Heather, the potential Buddhist chick he met at the fire. Heather says she's staying with another friend since she burned down the other friend's place. Garrity giddily adds that her living situation might change if things continue to go well. They smooch and Heather calls Garrity "Mr. Perfectly Hairy Chest" before they go off to check out Garrity's locker. Garrity is psyched about his new girlfriend. Although if she's dumb enough to call him Mr. Perfectly Hairy Chest in front of his friends, regardless of their firefighter status, she's not that smart. Which makes her perfect for Garrity. I love him, but he's dumb.

Laura walks in and asks if she missed anything. Lou says that it was "another episode of When Geeks Collide." This fall on FOX! Laura says that she brought doughnuts to try to "put a button" on her argument with Lou and move on. Lou says he's not interested in buttons, and Laura snipes that Lou is a real charmer and that it's no wonder his wife left him, and then walks out. Mike notes, "She got you," and Lou agrees, with no animosity whatsoever.

Mike reaches for a doughnut, and Lou tells him to get his hands off. Lou floats his hand an inch above the closed doughnut box for a moment and then declares, "Ah. No jelly. Bitch." He swats the box over to Mike. Lieutenant Kenny, ladies and gentlemen. Doughnut Jedi. Chief walks in and gets all fired up about the doughnuts. He sniffs the box and also declares that there are no jelly inside. Chief says that his son is in town to help out with Jeannie. Mike asks, "Your gay son?" Chief gets upset and notes that when people ask about Mike, he doesn't refer to him as "the retarded probie." Glad I'm not the only that's noticed. Chief says that Pete is just Chief's son, and then tells Lou that some dude named McManus is outside looking for him. Chief would have mentioned it earlier, but he got distracted by the doughnuts, which Lou thinks is understandable. Chief tells Mike not to ever refer to his son as gay again, and then orders him to wash and polish the rig twice. Mike apologizes on his way out, but Chief calls him back and tells Mike to go down to Dunkin' Donuts and get jelly doughnuts. I'm not a fan of the jelly doughnut. Too messy. I prefer sour cream or glazed. ["Krispy Kreme chocolate-dipped creme-filled. End of story." -- Wing Chun]

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Rescue Me




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