Rescue Me

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!

Tommy makes breakfast in his kitchen. Katie walks in and says she had a bad dream that Tommy and his crew were fighting a fire, and they saved a bunch of people, but then Tommy heard someone crying, so he ran back inside and got killed. Tommy promises Katie that he's not going to die in a big fire because "Daddy's golden right now." Colleen walks in and says she's running late. She asks for some cash, and Tommy gives her $200. Damn! I don't think I saw $200 all in one place until my high-school graduation party. And even then, it was probably a check, and not cash. Colleen gives Tommy a kiss and leaves. Sheila walks out in a robe and says that she's feeling "a little rocky." Katie asks if they can make cookies, and Sheila agrees. Damien wanders in and complains about having to share a room with Connor. Sheila tells Katie to go wake up Connor, and Katie screams for him. Tommy tells her to go up and get him. Tommy launches into a lecture about how he shared a room with two of his brothers, and Jimmy shared a room with two of his sisters. Tommy turns to look at Damien, but instead, he sees a huge cop. Tommy flashes back to reality, where he's sitting in a bar getting yelled at by some cop for being in a cop bar. Tommy tries the "my brothers are cops" line, which doesn't work, so he tells the cop to take a shot at him. The cop, who is huge, says that Tommy can have the first shot, and calls him a bitch for good measure. Tommy shakes the guy's hand, sucker-punches him in the throat, and runs out with a whole group of guys in hot pursuit.

Tommy pulls up to his house and runs into the doorway. Two or three cop cars pull up behind him, sirens screaming. Tommy chuckles and says, "Sanctuary, boys." One cop tells Tommy he's got a lot of balls. Tommy says it's a free country. The cop says that Tommy was speeding, driving drunk, and assaulted a police driver. Tommy explains that the huge cop told him to take a shot. The cop warns Tommy not even to spit on the sidewalk, so of course, Tommy hocks a loogie on the ground. The cop reminds Tommy that the cops vs. firefighters hockey game in this week, and that finally gets Tommy to shut up, as he acts all scared. The cop leaves and a random firefighter walks up and asks Tommy if he forgot about the game, and if he's crazy. Tommy waves goodbye to the cops and says, "Yeah, crazy like a fox!"

Tommy calls this guy, Ryan, and says that he wants Ryan to rejoin the team for the match against the cops. Ryan is pissed at first, but Tommy explains that he's been working on the cops for weeks, getting them all pissed off, and they're "like a balloon about to pop." Ryan agrees, and then tells Tommy that if he really wants to beat the cops, he needs to call this guy, Mungo Monahan. He's a firefighter, but he's out on leave of absence for beating up three cops at a dance. Tommy likes the sound of that, and tells Ryan to give Mungo a call. Tommy hangs up and sings "Secret evil plan man" for a while as he reads an article posted on the wall about Billy's death. As he's reading, Billy walks up behind him and blows smoke in his face. When Tommy turns around, Billy is gone.

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Rescue Me




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