Tommy walks out of his apartment (so I guess Sheila didn't get him kicked out) and finds a cop writing him a ticket. Tommy bitches and complains and then tries to say that he's a firefighter and on the job, so he shouldn't get a ticket. The cop is unimpressed and starts to walk away. Tommy says, "We should stick together. Two Irish guys. We're a dying breed." How are Irish guys a dying breed? It's not like the Irish aren't reproducing. A lot. And I say that as someone who's partly Irish. Anyway, the cop is Jewish. He asks Tommy, "You know the difference between Irish guilt and Jewish guilt? Whiskey." Tommy laughs at the joke and takes one more shot: "Look, man, I've been on the job twenty years and I lost sixty guys on 9/11..." The cop interrupts, "9/11 was four years ago, champ. Deal with it. You've had your day. They wrote books about you guys. They put you up on a pedestal. And what happened? Turns out you ain't just heroes. Turns out some of yas do blow, and have gangbangs. Turns out some of yas are just broken down drunks on the verge of a complete and total mental collapse. America don't like it when things get complicated. Pal." Man, does he have Tommy's number or what? The cop gives Tommy a stern look and walks away. Tommy opens his truck's door to get in and a beer can falls out. Heh. The cop looks back, so Tommy kicks the beer can under the truck and gets in.
Lou and Chief go to see The Grinch about getting Tommy reinstated, but Grinch isn't having it. Lou says that no one on their crew has guts like Tommy. Grinch agrees that Tommy has guts, but adds that he also has a big mouth. Lou throws out that Tommy quit drinking two days ago, and Grinch is unimpressed. Chief tries to argue some more, but Grinch shuts him down and says it's not going to happen.
Tommy sleeps at the kitchen table in his new house, and then wakes with a start. He gripes that he hasn't read this much since high school, and then amends that to say that he never read a book in high school. Tommy asks his co-worker why it's so slow, and supposes that it's because they're on an island, surrounded by water. He moves on to complain about how long his commute is, and another co-worker suggests that he take the ferry. Tommy responds, "Do me a favor? You ever see me on the ferry? Shoot me in the goddamn head." The other guys talk about a big fire at a nearby grocery store, but then reveal that it happened years ago. Tommy sighs, and then the other guys ask him if he can sing, because they need someone to join their group for the Firefighter Barbershop Quartet Nationals. Tommy puts his head in his hands, about like you'd expect. They reveal that their group's name is the Smoketeers. It was supposed to be the Smoke Eaters, but no one pronounced it right. Anyway, their star member got into a bar fight and was punched in the throat. The guys talk over one another with excitement as they reveal that they're going to sing "Coney Island Baby," and that Tommy could sing lead. Tommy waits a beat, clears his throat, and then says, "All right. I'm going to go upstairs and leave you three guys alone so you can all blow each other."














