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The Manwhorian Candidate
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

It's nighttime in Casa Emily. Just like you'd expect Emanda to be doing every night of her lonely life, she's sitting with the infinity x infinity box going through its contents. She's looking at photos when suddenly the spotlight of an FBI raid blasts her house. Queen Victoria saunters in behind the FBI agents in a little black dress and goes straight up to Emanda. "Amanda Clarke, how long did you really think you could fool me? You must be as stupid as your father." The FBI agents move in on Emanda, and... cut to Emanda sitting up from the couch startled. This was just a nightmare -- a paranoid one, at that. Interesting. She must take the dream as a premonition because she hides the infinity x infinity box and pulls out a gun from her desk. She creeps to her front door and aims the pistol at the window. Instead of Victoria or FBI agents, she's startled by Sammy the dog. Oddly enough, there's no Jack in tow.

It's morning now and Emanda runs out onto her porch with Sammy to play. Victoria is up on her balcony perch watching. She pulls out her phone and places a call to a friend who was on the Landmark Preservation Committee with Emanda and Lydia Davis' husband, Michael. The friend is in Italy so Victoria doesn't get the chance to pry for information before the friend has to go. Instead, she sits down to her breakfast and finds a jewelry box on her tray with a note from Conrad. She opens it to find a diamond necklace. She frowns. Diamonds are for-anger.

Poor Porter Bar. Jack made breakfast for Dec, but he's not hungry. Jack tries to console Dec since their father just died and left them the bar in his will, but Dec is just selfishly wallowing in the fact the last thing he said to a dead man was that the guy was a loser... and he totally meant it. Dec wants no part in the scattering of his father's ashes and runs away from Jack to go listen to some Death Cab For Cutie or something. Emanda shows up with Sammy to return him to Jack, who didn't even notice his dog was missing. He explains to Emanda he's been preoccupied with the death of his father. She's genuinely empathetic and relates the loss of her own father as she notices the bar counter is covered with photos of Jack with his dad. Jack offers to make Emanda breakfast, but this is not part of her vast revenge plot, so she declines. She just tells Jack to take care of himself and leaves.

Fruit Bats' "You're Too Weird" plays in Charlotte Grayson's bedroom as she lounges on her bed, fiddling with her phone. Our good friend Distrust Fund Adam suddenly enters her room from her frickin' French Door balcony (I hate rich people so much). Adam is trying to prove he'd risk his neck by climbing up to Charlotte's bedroom just to show her he's into her and to remind her she should still be into him. Such douchey suffocation. There's a knock at the door by Victoria. Charlotte shoves Adam off the bed, completely upping the ante on the cutesy teenager thing happening here. Queen Victoria enters the room on official mom business, but before she leaves she tells Charlotte to tell Adam the drain pipe he scurried up to get to the bedroom is in full view of their conservatory (again, I hate rich people so much). Victoria wishes Adam a good morning without seeing him and exits the room. Adam and Char giggle.

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