It turns out there was a tell-all, best-selling book all about David Clarke's villainy. The problem as far as the author, Mason Treadwell, is concerned is: He promised little Amanda Clarke at the outset of writing the book that he would save her father. Instead, he was bought off by the Graysons and wrote an account that was much in line with the negative image of David we've all come to know was perpetuated in the minds of the public. Emanda sees an opportunity to return the favor to this sell out when Victoria asks Mason to interview Amily about her possible ulterior motives for sticking around the Hamptons. Amily is fed her interview responses by Emanda through an earpiece, allowing Ems to vicariously threaten Mason and give him one last opportunity to clear the record about David. When he caves to pressure from Victoria at a public reading of his finding about Amanda Clarke, Emanda decides to burn down his house and the only copy of his memoirs. This is exactly why saving to the cloud is a good idea.
Amily has become restless hanging around the Stowaway with boring, straight-laced Jack. She starts lashing out at him with paranoid jealousies of Emanda and Coyote Ugly bartending antics. Jack is completely repulsed by this glimpse of stripper until Declan suggests he lighten up or he might end up like their dead dad (harsh). When Dec is right, Dec is right. Jack lets his hair down and takes Amily on her requested trip to Atlantic City. Aside: So annoyed by this girl who could be in Paris right now. /aside.
Things are chugging along with Daniel and Emanda, as well. He plans on moving back in with his mother temporarily because she's shaken up about Tyler's meltdown, but Dan wants to ultimately move in with Emanda somewhere in the city. She stalls by claiming she won't move in with anyone until she's married, citing it's out of respect to how traditional her parents were. This coincides with Daniel trying to make a play for his trust fund and shares of Grayson Global so he and his mother can wrest control of the company from Conrad. What does that have to do with marrying Emanda? Conrad and his lawyer begin to suspect Daniel's possible motive, so Conrad amends the terms of Daniel's contract to stipulate he needs to reach the age of thirty or get married to gain access. That's more than enough to have Daniel determined to ask Emanda to marry him, but Victoria still insists he should wait, despite this being a sure way to beat Conrad. She goes as far as to have Ashley suggest to Emanda that if Dan were to propose, it might be motivated by money.
In Extraneous Teenager Land, Charlotte and Declan come to the realization that their summer love is about to lose the summer part. Dec gets all mopey because Char anticipates she's going to be really busy when she goes back to school. Like usual, Dec redeems his whiney self with an entirely sweet-hearted gesture. Charlotte finds him dozed off after trying to read Paradise Lost (and its CliffsNotes) because she mentioned it's her summer reading assignment. Oh, and there's a big chance Charlotte's dad is really David Clarke. But that shouldn't make this school year any harder, though. Right?
-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. He co-hosts TWoP's original "Trailers Without Pity" with his brother Omar G. Check him out at The YES and NO and Pablog and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.
Little Amanda (did you guys know the actress who plays little Amanda is named Emily?) sits in her social services room reading a book with her father's face on the cover called The Society Connection, written by someone named Mason Treadwell. Emanda voice-over: "For the average person leading an ordinary life, fame holds a hypnotic attraction." Amanda sobs as she absorbs the book's contents. The VO continues: "Many would sooner perish than exist in anonymity. But for the unlucky few who've had notoriety forced upon them, infamy can be a sentence more damning than any prison term." Flash forward to Emanda sitting in bed, reading the same book. Daniel walks in from a late night working at Grayson Global. He reveals to Emanda that he's decided to forego business school to focus on the family business, and he also would like to move back in with his mother for the summer, since she's still rattled over Tyler's attempt to murder Daniel's birthday party. The consolation here is Daniel wants to move into a new place with Emanda in the city after summer. Thinking quickly on her feet, Emanda says she plans on never moving in with anyone unless she's marrying them. Her parents were traditional, she says, and she feels like it honors them to uphold their values. She adds that she definitely loves Daniel and wants to be with him, but she just wants it to be the right way. The right way being anything that will destroy his family.
Emanda wasn't boning up on that old Mason Treadwell book for nothing. We're at a public reading at a bookstore by Treadwell (played by guest star Roger Bart) with Victoria, Nolan and Emanda also in attendance. Mason dons a white suit, rose-colored shirt and fuchsia bowtie. He looks like what would happen if Colonel Sanders had sex with Alan Cumming. I don't mean what their baby would look like -- they're both boys and that's impossible. I mean the amalgamation of their bodies smooshed together. Queen Victoria sits front and center, eating up his every word while nervously glancing at the giant sandwich board of the cover of the book featuring David's face. Nolan and Ems hang back behind the crowd snickering at how much of a tool this guy is when he talks about how he draws inspiration for non-fiction from his subjects themselves. When he's finished speaking, Victoria immediately goes up to greet Mason, followed closely by Emanda. Ems blows through the usual, "Victoria! I didn't know you knew [blank]" and introduces herself as the girl who currently lives in the house David Clarke was arrested in, naturally piquing Mason's interest. Having him on the hook, Emanda reels him in, introducing him to Nolan. Treadwell looks at Nolan with wide eyes like he's a walking Pulitzer for a biographer. Wired Magazine's "Man of the Decade" and Forbes' number seven on their list of youngest billionaires -- these are Nolan's credentials Mason recalls instantly from memory. Nolan corrects him that he's actually sixth on Forbes' list (heh) before dropping the possibility they could get together to discuss Nolan's biography. Mason extends an invitation and his business card, so Nolan and Emanda's work here is done. When they leave, Victoria invites Mason over to the house to discuss something important. He can't refuse.