Emanda's target this week is Bill Harmon, a stock trader who also testified against her father in the trial that tied him to that terrorist group. She makes Bill's acquaintance while watching one of Daniel's polo matches and quickly catches his financial interest. (Get it? Interest? You're too young.) She steals a list of Harmon's top investor clients and gives him a fake tip about making a large investment into a company with which Nolan is supposed to make a large business deal. Harmon puts everything into the investment and loses his investors' money when the stock market catches wind of the deal not happening. Emanda uses the stolen contacts list to let the investors know about their loss, effectively ruining Bill Harmon.
For it being an integral part of her revenge plot, Emanda is having to do very little in the way of actively courting Daniel so she can eventually murder him. It's obviously part of her attraction tactic to let Daniel feel like he's the one after her, but she keeps finding herself readily available for him to ask her out on dates. They finally go out on a pretty perfect picnic date that gets interrupted briefly by a housewarming party Ashley throws for Emanda when she wins the bid on her house. After that diversion, Daniel and Emanda have their first kiss.
What's this housewarming business? Emanda is annoyed to find out that her bids to own Lydia's house, which is now up for sale, have been challenged by sneaky cash bids from Victoria. She is even more annoyed by the fact she has to learn this through Nolan, who purchases the house on her behalf. Queen Victoria pops some capillaries when she finds out she didn't get the house, but she has no real reason yet to think Emanda is anything more than an obnoxiously lucky girl. That is, until the spy Victoria contacted at the end of last episode begins to report findings on the alias "Emily Thorne," but nothing is really out of the ordinary except the name turns up in an organization roll call with Lydia's husband Michael and there is a period of some years where all records of the identity are court-sealed. Don't dig too deep. You may not like what boring things you might find.
In Poor Bar Land, Jack feels the pressure of his father Carl's financial troubles enough to expedite the sale of his boat to Nolan. To make matters more dire for Jack, he continues having to reject Nolan's awkward friendship advances. While this is going on, Dec has still been completely oblivious to the bar's impending foreclosure. He's too busy trying to steal Charlotte Grayson away from her dick boyfriend, who finds out Dec is sending her flirty texts. Dick Boyfriend pretends to be Charlotte through text and sets up a date with Dec so he can show up with his buddies and jump him. Carl comes down to protect his son and suffers a heart attack. Can't the Porter boys catch a break?
Oh, and all of this was the day before Emanda's lonely true identity birthday. The thing about true identity birthdays is nobody knows about them except people who know your true identity. Happy birthday, Amanda!
-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. He co-hosts TWoP's original "Trailers Without Pity" with his brother Omar G. Check him out at Unp0ssible and Pablog and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.
We begin twelve weeks earlier. Twelve weeks earlier than what, I do not know. All of the Hamptons has made it out to a polo match in which Daniel Grayson is competing. Emanda has come out to spy and make herself visible to Daniel, as well. She's found by Party Planner Ashley, who takes notice of Emanda's fixation and recent flirtation with Daniel. In an odd television conceit that wouldn't ever happen in real life, Ashley decides to take Emanda into the VIP tent and give her a quiz on whether she remembers all the Hamptons people she's recently met. I guess it's a nice thing to do for people who missed the first episode. The only person included in the quiz we've yet to meet is Bill Harmon, a big-time stock trader currently engaged in conversation with Nolan. There's yet another weird, slow-motion eye-lock with Queen Victoria for Emanda. Could it be that Victoria's machinations are simply because she longs to be noticed by a pretty girl? Ashley walks off to throw her supposedly charming British accent in someone else's face and leaves Emanda to focus on a pair of red dice Mr. Harmon plays with in his hand. FLASHBACK: Little Amanda is greeted by "Uncle Bill" on her birthday before her father hands over the puppy that will become Sammy, complete with a big red bow. The moment is short-lived because Bill takes David aside for an important talk having to do with "Grayson." /FLASHBACK. The Graysons have come over to speak with Bill. Emanda stares in their direction with a look on her face that says, "I am a ruiner and you are a ruinee."
At The Poor Porter Bar, Jack's trying to get Dec off his lazy, teenage ass to get some work done, but he's busy texting away flirtations to Charlotte Grayson. Carl gets a distressing phone call and tells Jack to close the bar after lunchtime and take inventory of everything. Jack asks what's up, but Dad Porter is tight-lipped. Dec is all happy-teenager about getting to go home early, completely missing the subtext of what's happening right in front of him. He's so oblivious he asks Jack to borrow his boat and invites Charlotte out for a ride without consent from his brother. But don't be too hard on Declan; I borrowed my brother's boat without his permission when I was a teenager all the time.
Charlotte gets the invitation text from Dec as her brute of a trust fund boyfriend hovers over her shoulder and asks who she's talking to. Women need air, Trust Fund Boyfriend. He is concerned because he thought he and Char have all the same friends. Suff-o-cation. Charlotte gives a brief speech about wanting something different. Trust Fund Boyfriend: "I can do different. I love different." They return to the polo match. While I have no concept of how polo is played, it's quite obvious Daniel is sucking in his match. Mom and Dad Grayson watch on in quiet horror/embarrassment. Bill is sitting with the couple and offers to make a wager with Conrad on the outcome of his son's match. It sticks in Conrad's craw enough for him to throw out as a response the fact he fired Bill 18 years ago. Bill jokes that the arrangement worked out really well for the both of them. Emanda interrupts to say hello to the Graysons and slither her way into an introduction with Bill by offering to take him up on his asshole bet. She's introduced by Conrad as the girl next door, but Victoria quickly swoops in to correct that it won't be for much longer now that Lydia's house is up for sale and there have been some offers already. Emanda corrects Victoria with the real estate version of a bitch slap -- one of those offers is Emanda's. Bill is impressed with Emanda's confidence and financial wits. Their conversation is interrupted by Conrad's phone going off with a phone call from Lydia, which he ignores. Victoria takes notice of the name on his screen and excuses herself.