Love Story

Episode Report Card
admin: C | 36 USERS: B
Love Means Never Having to Say I Killed Your Family
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Revolution: Aaron died. Psych! Charlie met a hot bounty hunter who didn't listen to her when she was all, MONROE IS A WILY BITCH. U.S. government lady Justine Allenford came to make nice with the refugees in Georgia, and Neville declared war on Ms. Justine. And Miles is in the creepy, creepy hands of cult leader Titus Andover.

Titus's house o' music boxes. The lady on the bed, staring at the ceiling, is Titus's wife, Jessica, he expositions. Jessica is diabetic and went into renal failure two years ago. Oh this is going to a bad place. Jessica is O negative, Titus villains, so they're going to replace her dirty blood, which her kidneys can't filter, with some nice, fresh, clean blood — specifically, Miles's blood. Ugly straps Miles down and Titus thanks him for his, uh, donation. You know, the phlebotomists are way nicer to me when I offer them a pint. Also, it's a good thing no one has given poor Jessica hepatitis yet, right? Or mad cow.

While Miles is being drained, Rachel creeps in and surprises the blood-drainer. She clubs him over the head and unhooks Miles from all the equipment. Gene is right behind her. Miles, who might be a noble idiot but at least is a strategic one, convinces them to take Jessica with them. He and Rachel go rescue Sara while Gene hauls Jessica out of her sickbed. Of course, one of Titus's guards comes back while Rachel is fiddling with the lock on Sara's cage, because that woman is just too much fucking trouble. One of the Willoughby men shoots the guard, which of course alerts Titus. Miles is all SERIOUSLY FML.

Willoughby guy shoots a few more guards before getting killed, and Miles, Rachel, and Gene all escape through a great big drainage pipe with Jessica Andover. Titus wrinkles up his nose like someone has stepped in the poo-poo.

Guys, this Honey Nut Cheerios commercial set to a Nelly song makes me feel like an australopithecine. Good Christ.

Savannah. I feel like Savannah would be a terrible place for a refugee camp. The malaria alone would devastate the place, you know? Neville comes into his tent and tells Jason they've gotten in with the patriots, so now they need to erase their former lives and slip into their cover identities. He burns a photo of Julia as he growls that they'll "bleed red, white, and blue…for your mother."

Tom and Jason serve icky-looking government rations. Jason complains, and Tom kids that he looks good in a hairnet. Jason, of course, has no idea what his father's talking about, as there is no USDA (kind of like right now, ugh) to make him not get his dandruff all up in people's food. Tom says this being good team players all part of the plan, and they need to bide their time. They walk into a tent and a man immediately clubs them both unconscious. For all the wet skull-cracking noises they have to generate week-to-week, I hope the Foley artists on this show are making bank.

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