Patriot Games

Episode Report Card
admin: D | 37 USERS: B
Sweet Sweetback's Stabasssss Song
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Revolution: Turns out Cheekbones once played a super hot douche bag on 30 Rock, as I learned from a rerun last week. It's one of the Salma Hayek episodes. Anyway, on this show, Aaron died and then the nanites un-dead'ed him. Charlie found out there's a government bounty on her mother's head as well as on Monroe's, and Titus Andover and his family attacked Grandpa Doctor Gene's hometown of Willoughby. But then the U.S. government showed up and saved the civilians. And in Georgia, the family Neville infiltrated the feds.

Pottsboro, North Texas. Oh, I hope the memory of Lionel Barrymore was somehow involved in the naming of this squalid place. Charlie is stuffing her face with something that's possibly a stew, and slugging back brown liquor while a sweaty guy hits on her. He offers to buy her uno mas, and she politely declines. Sweaty is not impressed with Charlie's manners. When she tries to leave, the door is locked. When Sweaty and five gross friends who seem to have less than gentlemanly impulses surround her, she makes her best Linda Hamilton I'm-Gonna-Shove-a-Hypodermic-in-Your-Eye,-Sucka face, and then beats the shit out of them with a pool cue. But then she starts to get wobbly from something that was in the booze. Ruh-roh.

Just in time, Monroe breaks through the locked door, draws his sword, and comes swashbuckling to Charlie's rescue. Charlie watches him stab some bum to death right before slumping into unconsciousness. And I type the words "into unconsciousness" so many times with this show that I'm thinking of replacing the word "unconsciousness" with "bunnies." So Charlie falls over, bunny-ed.

Rachel wakes up in a lovely bed in a sunny room, windows open, and curtains blowing in the breeze. It's basically a Cialis ad, except for the twin bathtubs. She pulls up her shirt to look at the slightly bloody bandage from her crossbow wound, and hollers for Miles and Gene. She wanders outside and is first spooked by a kid dressed as a skeleton, then sees several other children in Halloween costumes. She continues wandering through Willoughby, still pretty drugged up if that slack-jawed look is any indication. Khaki-uniformed soldiers with the American flag on their arms are patrolling the town, armed with semiautomatic weapons. One of them rides into town with a bunch of dead reaper bodies slung over a pack horse. The Stars and Stripes flies over the town square, and Rachel spots Ken, then Miles.

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