Henry is arrested for Tyler's murder, but gets out on bail. Trying to make things better, Actual-Shiv bribes Oksana (the maid who let Henry into Tyler Boytoy's hotel room) into recanting. Oksana takes the money, but brings it and the incriminating information right to New York's finest. The cops haul Bridget-as-Shiv in for questioning. Poor Bridget didn't bribe the maid, so she has no clue what's going on, but she now suspects Tool Belt is responsible for Boytoy's murder.
Meanwhile, Tim Arbogast has gotten Child Protective Services to remove the invisi-twins from Henry's home and place them in his own. Our poor old Tool Belt confronts his father-in-law, learns Tim knows about Henry's affair with Siobhan and suspects him in Gemma's death. In other news, Tim brings the flash drive to Andrew and tells him he's going to save Martin/Charles.
Catherine tries to kill herself, either because she's afraid she's going to be caught, or maybe just because it's Tuesday. It's certainly not because she feels bad for manipulating her child into making a fake rape claim, just to rip of Andrew to the tune of ten million bucks. Juliet gets to say the episode title to Mommy though, so it's all good.
When Cattie is discharged from the hospital, her doctor says she either needs to be admitted to Bellevue or have 24/7 in-home care. Andrew and Bridget, of course, take her in. This gives Catherine a bird's eye view of the still-suspended Agent Victor "Guyliner" Machado's investigation into the attempts on Bridget-as-Shiv's life. By episode's end, Catherine drugs Bridget's tea. Stumbling around in a stupor, Bridget finds the missing cell phone (which belonged to the hit man Bridget killed early in the season), but she passes out cold before she can do anything about it. Catherine scatters pills all over Bridget's unconscious face. Meanwhile, Machado has found evidence implicating Cattie and tries to warn Bridget, but Guyliner is no Richard Alpert on this show, so he's too darned late.
There are only two more episodes left in this season (and smart money says the same is true for the series). I know writers can't write as if their show is definitely canceled, but the near miss between Bridget and Shiv has me worried that we will get no satisfaction by season's end. What do you think?
I'll be back tomorrow with the full weecap of "If You're Just An Evil Bitch Then Get Over It." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where it's tea time.
Welcome dear Ringlets, to my antepenultimate weecap of Ringer Season 1, which is probably going to end up being Ringer Season Only. Let's have some fun while it lasts, okay?
Night. The story picks up right where it left off last week. Agent Victor "Guyliner" Machado has just taken out the latest hit man who is after Bridget-as-Shiv. Our Welsh Rarebit Andrew is at home. He's talking on the phone with Bridget-as-Shiv crowing about how he managed to trick Catherine out of all the money she swindled from him. When he asks Bridget how she is, she says, "Don't panic. It happened again. Someone shot at me..." like you do. "Whoever is doing this -- they're not after Bridget. They're after me." I don't know how she wards off dizziness when she's saying things like that.
Andrew ends the call, intending to go to the police station and bring Bridget-as-Shiv home, but then he hears opera music coming from a room down the hall, and even Andrew has watched enough bad TV to know that is never a good sign. He finds Cattie and asks her what she's doing there. She says she had to see Juliet, but what she means by "see Juliet," is: slit her own wrists, bleed all over Andrew's shirt and carpet, claim she's sorry for everything she's done, cry that wants to die and then pass out. Commercial!
Morning. Juliet and Andrew go to visit Catherine at the hospital. Juliet makes it clear she's not in a forgiving mood and swans out of the room. Andrew follows her. They meet up with Cattie's psychiatrist, who wants a word with Andrew regarding Cattie's history. He sends Juliet off to the vending machines, so of course she just goes around a conveniently placed corner to eavesdrop. Andrew admits that Catherine tried to kill herself before, but the doctors said it was "para-suicide" -- a cry for help. This psychiatrist says this attempt was a serious one, not just a cry for help. Catherine can stay at the hospital two more days, but after that she'll need to be admitted to Bellevue or work out a supervised living situation.
The NYPD has dragged Henry "Tool Belt" Butler down to the station again. He's already admitted being at the Soho Diamond but claims he was only there to write. He wants to go home now, but the detective points at the office window and tells Tool Belt new evidence has come to light. Henry turns to see Oksana, the maid who let him into Tyler's room. She can place him at the scene right at the time of Tyler's death. We cut to Henry getting booked. Can someone explain to me why I don't want Henry to be caught?