[Note: Just one thing -- This is very true! I was not speaking for Cindy (as the itals attempted to convey); I was simply referring to myself and the rest of the TWoP editors as the royal "we," the same way I say, "We still aren't exactly over Fox axing Firefly so quickly." (Which, even then, should be taken with a grain of snarky salt.) And what Cindy writes is definitely true; when it's your job to watch something in great critical detail, it is often more likely than not that you will grow to resent it faster than a series you're watching calmly with a glass of wine in hand, especially in the case of a deemed "guilty pleasure" series. Now, let's do this thing! -- Rachel.]
The is the story of two Sisters, who share the same Face. Oh Show, as if your Pooh-style capitalization wasn't enough, your melodramatic description of twins as people who share the same Face makes you too wonderful for words. Nice Buffy is telling me her name is Bridget. Richard Alpert is telling her to testify against Bodaway Macawi. Bridget says Officer Jimmy has her back. She thought she'd be safe. Turns out she was wrong. Jimmy tells her that if she testifies, she'll be dead. Bodaway Macawi looms in the background. His face is made of menace. Jimmy tells Bridget to run. She runs to her sister, Mean Buffy, whose name is allegedly Siobhan. Mean Buffy fakes her death. Nice Buffy misses the "faking" part. She calls Malcolm and tells her she has assumed Mean Buffy's identity. It was so easy. She saw a way out and she took it. Surrounded by mirrors, Nice Buffy does her hair in Mean Buffy's signature up-do. Mean Buffy goes into labor. She takes a cab to the hospital. Tool Belt sings the praises of Mean Buffy's twin daughters, then pulls the doctor aside and requests a paternity test, on the two newest sisters who share the same Face.
We open on a wedding. Andrew is waiting at the altar. Bridget waddles down the aisle in yet another wedding gown that is too big for her. Sheeesh, even in her dreams, Nice Buffy can't get good wardrobe. Yes, of course this is a dream sequence. The gown is beautiful, by the way, it's just too cumbersome for little SMG. For seven years, I watched this woman walk in all manner of clothing. She's more graceful than this. I do sort of dig that veil. Juliet looks lovely as she smiles at her father and fake step-mother. The minister is a redheaded woman who acknowledges that Andrew and Bridget-as-Shiv's union has withstood trials and tribulations. My word-processing program objects to the cliché. I smile at it. Andrew and Bridget make gaga eyes at each other. They're so cute together, I can't stand it. They renew their vows, although it's hard for Bridget to say, "I, Siobhan Martin." Poor noodle. Now comes the kissing. Hurrah!