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It's Easy To Cry, When There's This Much Cash Involved

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Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now!
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Big Sister Is Watching

Gramercy Park West: Shiv is with Henry (Tool Belt), feeding him a pack of lies. She says Bridget convinced her to switch lives and a whole bunch of blah blah. Tool Belt, of all people, accuses Shiv of not thinking. Shiv perpetuates the idea that Bridget and NA Charlie/John got greedy and kidnapped Gemma. She also tells him that while she was in Paris, she got some dirt on Andrew. Her prenup with Andrew is iron-clad. She gets nothing if they divorce, but she thinks she's figured out a way for her to run away with Tool Belt on Andrew's dime. She has something to show him, but she needs the key Bridget stole from the Harlem office. She promises that when she gets the key back, everything will make sense.

Park Ave: Andrew and Catherine are present as their attorney preps Juliet for her testimony against Mr. "Logan Echolls" Carpenter. Catherine snaps about the little inconsistencies in Juliet's story. (Did he grab her left arm, or her right -- stuff like that.) Andrew tells Catherine to calm down, but the attorney says consistency is important. Andrew asks the women to leave the room, so he can talk privately with Juliet. The attorney and Catherine leave the room, but mere walls can't keep Catherine from interfering. When she shouts from the other room, Andrew threatens to put her on the next plane to Miami. I'm shouting from my living room, Andrew. Can I go Miami, please? Juliet cries as she asks her parents to stop fighting and promises she will get her testimony right.

Gramercy Park West: Olivia stops by to give Tool Belt some "Egyptian Cotton" jammies for his twins. Tool Belt: "This is so unnecessary." Right? Because they're invisible. Who cares what they wear to bed? When Olivia asks if Tool Belt is going to invite her in, he says, "Do I need to? Are you a vampire?" A lot of people liked this little Buffy the Vampire Slayer shout-out, but it didn't work for me, since Olivia is actually a vampire. I mean, how bad does she suck? She's really there to get Henry to introduce her to his father-in-law, Tim Arbogast -- a millionaire many times over. Henry refuses. Olivia pulls out her cell phone and shows Henry a picture of him and Shiv in bed, as she says, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this." See? Vampire. (Also note, it's not the same, relatively innocuous picture we saw Olivia steal from Henry's phone however long ago.) Olivia lies that this is the only picture she has. If Tool Belt will get her Arbogast, Olivia says that she will hit delete.

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