Welcome back, my fellow soap aficionados. Remember last week, when I said this: "In guilty pleasure TV, a thing happens. You then jeer or cheer it, grab another handful of popcorn [...] and wait for the next thing to happen. When something happens that you were totally sure was going to happen, you get to crow, 'I KNEW IT.' And when you're surprised, you shout, 'OMG, I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING!'" Well, this week, we open with exactly one of those scenes. Bridget returns from shopping. Andrew immediately confronts her about being Bridget rather than Siobhan, noting, "They found your bag in the bus station...." I shout out, "Dream sequence!" My husband and two oldest kids, who have clocked much less time soaking in the suds, give me the hairy eyeball, until the dream is revealed and I am vindicated. I refrain from crowing, 'I KNEW IT," not because I ever mind my own redundancies, but rather, because I like to space them out.
Bridget wakes from her dream with a start, right after Andrew introduces her to dripping wet walking dead Zombie!Shiv. Still shaking from her nightmare, Bridget tells Andrew she wants to get out of the city and go to the Hamptons for a weekend. Andrew reminds her it's her birthday. My friend, Theresa, who wasn't home Tuesday night, sends me a message: "I drove through ... so I missed Buffy's birthday. Did she sleep with anyone and did they then turn evil?" I don't want to spoil her, so I don't explain that it seems that in the Ringer 'verse, evil is a sexually transmitted disease one risks contracting when sleeping with Shiv. Meanwhile, back on the show, Andrew mumbles about making up for last year. Since they're trying to make a fresh start, he'll cut out of work early. They can go together and celebrate on the beach. Bridget needs to get into the locker that just featured so prominently in her dream (oh hi there, "Prophecy Girl") so she says she'll just take the jitney and that way he won't have to rush. Andrew laughs at the very idea of the pampered Shiv taking public transportation and says he'll have their car service run her out.