Beach, Exterior: When Andrew says he can't wait to get out on the boat, Bridget says, "I'll pass on that." She's thinking of what she assumes is Shiv's death, but when she realizes Andrew is taken aback by her reaction, she pleads pregnancy nausea. Oh, Bridget! By now you should be telling Andrew you got your period and the pregnancy test was wrong. Thank you for further complicating your already incredibly complicated life for my vicarious enjoyment! When Andrew gets a text message from work, he feels all guilty about it. Whatever he did to mess up the demanding Shiv's last birthday seems to have been work related. I bet Olivia was responsible, somehow. Anyhow, Andrew answers the text then shuts off the phone for the weekend, just in case we weren't swooning hard enough, already.
As they return to the beach house, Andrew and Bridget are joking with each other about American football versus what the rest of the world calls football. When Bridget pronounces soccer boring, Andrew laughs. "So you're telling me all those games you sat through, cheering and screaming -- you were faking that? I'm getting worried. What else were you faking?" How long do you have, Andrew?
The couple is startled by a crash in another room. Andrew arms himself with the fireplace poker and tells Bridget to stay there while he goes off to investigate. Yo, Andrew. I know I love you, but nobody puts Buffy in a corner! Bridget agrees with me and follows right behind him. It's just the Battling Butlers, whom I so want to rename the Bickersons. They not only let themselves into the Martins' place, but had a vase-throwing-and-breaking argument, immediately upon arrival. (Gemma was pitching. Henry was catching. I'm pretty sure that's probably true of their entire relationship.) Bridget didn't realize the Bickersons were coming. Gemma explains that Andrew told them to. Henry says they should leave, but when Gemma says she was really looking forward to a weekend away from the kids, Bridget asks them to stay.
Cop Shop: Agent Guyliner fills the cops in on Bridget's backstory and that he knows Bridget was in the Hamptons before or on September 9. He also knows that Shiv sent Bridget a letter sometime before that. Question: since sometime and anytime are words, why isn't everytime? Ahem. Sorry. My mind sort of wanders during these expository scenes. Guyliner wants hard evidence that proves Shiv and Bridget were in contact. Yada yada yada. The cops inform him that the Bickersons are visiting the Martin Beach Manse this weekend. Agent Guyliner chuckles. "It takes a brave woman to share her house with her husband and her lover." Does she get no points for efficiency?