It's Gonna Kill Me, But I'll Do It

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Cindy McLennan: A- | Grade It Now!
A Very Buffy Birthday

Six Years Ago, Lake Tahoe, Nevada: When Siobhan opens the door to Bridget, she reiterates that she doesn't want to see her. Bridget holds up a cupcake topped with two birthday candles and says, "It's our birthday. Red velvet. Your favorite." Inside, the apartment is full of moving boxes (given all my Buffy references, I probably should clarify that the boxes aren't floating or anything; they're stationary -- for packing stuff, when one is moving). Shiv is off to New York and a new life. "Andrew loves me. I can start over." Her jewelry box is conveniently lying open, on the table right behind her. She picks up the birthday necklace, holds it up and then tosses it at Bridget's feet. "I never want it back." That Bridget doesn't die right then and there of frostbite is testament to her inner strength. She picks up the necklace, gives me some Buffy boo-boo face, and runs out of the apartment. When Shiv shuts the door after her sister, she fights off her feelings and closes her eyes.

Paris Hotel Bar: Shiv, wearing a necklace that weighs more than she, sits at the bar, starts to light a cigarette, and then changes her mind. Tyler walks in and heads to a table where a beautiful brunette is waiting. Shiv, and her dress -- WHICH MAY ACTUALLY BE CUT DOWN TO HER NAVEL -- don't sweat that. She strolls over and tells him she misses him. Instead of being all, "Excuse me, I'm obviously on a date here," Tyler, in a cold voice, says he's been busy with work. Shiv asks to borrow him for a moment. Beautiful Brunette is not jealous, because she remembers that back in 1997 or so, Buffy had breasts. Shiv apologizes and explains that things ended the way they did the other night, because Shiv was sick. Besides, he's met Simone, who doesn't speak much English, but then again, she doesn't have to. Nice. What a creep. Shiv tells him she really likes him and felt a connection between them. Tyler: "Is that how you connect with people -- shove them out of your hotel room without a second thought?" Oh yeah, Tyler is a prick -- so I'm thinking a perfect foil for Shiv. On cue, Shiv's phone rings. She informs the unheard caller that she's hit a snag.

Beach House, Night: Bridget grabs her bag and tries to sneak out to destroy the evidence, but Henry finds her alone in the dark and assumes that she's there to resume their affair. They have one of those conversations that reveals nearly everything about their affair -- the kind someone should be eavesdropping on, but the show doesn't go there -- not yet. Instead, we get a flashback to last year, with Shiv and Henry making love in front of the fireplace. They seem happy and lovey dovey. Henry asks if she had trouble getting away. Shiv's no comes with a devious laugh. "Emergency work meeting. Olivia actually showed up at the restaurant. You should have seen the look in her eyes when he left me there, alone." Olivia. Ha. I KNEW IT! Henry, in his first likable moment thus far, looks shocked. "Wow. So happy birthday to you?" Shiv doesn't care. She'd rather be with Henry anyhow, because all her taste is in her mouth.

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