We pick up right where we left off last week, so I'm not sure Bridget has even been in New York for three weeks, yet. The ultrasound shows that Bridget's womb is suffering from a surprising lack of baby. The ultrasound scene shows that Bridget is suffering from a surprising lack of poker face, especially when you consider that she is a recovering addict/ex-stripper/possible-prostitute. All three of those stations in life require acting chops, no? Besides all that, she is on the lam from the law and the lawless, has killed a man with a cop's gun and assumed her socialite twin's life. I mean, really, B. You're lucky my poor Andrew is too devastated to notice. Bridget explains away her unpregnancy (is too a word) by saying she did have a little spotting, but thought it was normal. Yay, that's over! Boo, that's over! Can you tell I'm torn? I truly believe the crazier this show gets, the better it will be, so part of me wants them to leave no shark unjumped (is too a word), but in my gut, I guess I think this is for the best. Buffy and I have enough to worry about.
At home Juliet seems genuinely saddened to learn that she won't have to share Daddy's time, love and money with a wee usurper -- not that she'll have access to Daddy's dosh for quite some time, anyhow. At school, Juliet puts the moves on Mr. "Logan Echolls" Carpenter. He wisely transfers her out of his class. By episode's end, though, Juliet joins an after-school club ("The Young Samaritans") that Logan leads. [Buckle up, kids. Daddy's putting the hammer down! --Spike]
Malcolm stupidly uses his credit card to pay for his hotel room. Bridget sneaks out to meet him. She tries to get him to stay in a better hotel. He tries to get her to run away with him. Oh, Malcolm. She's living on Park Ave. with Andrew, for heaven's sake. Sober up and get a clue. Bridget leaves him some money, which ends up right in his arm. When the cops see activity on his credit card, they go to the hotel and pick him up. Agent "Guyliner" Machado tells them to let him sleep it off and then set him free, because he's convinced Malcolm will lead them to Bridget.
Andrew wants to spend the day after the "miscarriage" with his bride, but Bridget can't squeeze him in, as she's spending much of the episode with her sponsors, one of whom is high as a kite most of the time, the other of whom has only involved himself in her life, in order to do her evil twin's evil bidding. Poor, sad Andrew goes into work and his partner, Olivia Charles, who pretends she has a soul, commiserates over the "miscarriage" and is a fabulous faker. Bridget should take poker face lessons from her. Ms. Charles is bluffin' with her muffin.
Bridget agrees to meet Malcolm at a café. Guyliner calls Bridget, because he thinks she's Siobhan, and tells her Malcolm is in town. Bridget wisely admits that she already knows, and that she's on her way out to meet Malcolm. Guyliner confronts her in lobby and persuades her to wear a wire (by threatening to tell Andrew about her affair with Tool Belt). Don't worry! Bridget has a waiter bring over a menu and clipped to it, is a note which reads:
I'm Wearing a Wire
I love your Winnie the Pooh capitalization, but sheeesh, B, that was dumb. I mean, it is smart to tip off Malcolm, because he'd be confused by you pretending to be Shiv while talking to him, even if he wasn't back on the junk, but you just let a random waiter in on the fact that you're wearing a wire and tipping off your target. Couldn't you have stuffed the note in your purse and opened it and let Malcolm see it, that way? At any rate, the meeting nets nothing for Guyliner, who is pissed at "Shiv." Bridget is pissed right back at him though, because she knows Malcolm is using, and she can't believe Guyliner didn't get him any help. She then catches up with Malcolm, tells him she knows he's using and offers to help him. He refuses and takes off. Later, he happens back by what I believe is the same café, steals a tip off the table, and is spotted by a man I believe is the same waiter, and who probably still has the damned note. I need a glass of wine.
Meanwhile, in Paris, Tyler has to go to Rome on business, but can't convince Cora (Shiv) to come with him. Once he's gone, Shiv talks to NA Charlie, who -- by now, has met with Bridget and knows Malcolm is in town. Shiv wants NA Charlie to handle that situation, too. NA Charlie says he will, but he won't be handling it the same way he handled the Gemma situation. The writers are still teasing us with her fate, and good on them!
When Tyler's on his way out of Paris, Andrew calls and summons him to New York, instead. Andrew wants to promote Tyler, because he just canned Tyler's boss for losing transfer documents containing his (Andrew's) signature, which of course Tyler's boss didn't lose. Tyler lost them, because Shiv stole them from him.
Tyler meets Olivia and Andrew for dinner. Bridget, who knows she hasn't been giving Andrew enough attention, shows up. Just like everyone else, Tyler thinks she is Shiv (well, he thinks her name is Cora, but you know what I mean) and can't believe he's been sleeping with the boss's wife -- on the company's dime. He is furious and snide to Bridget, who finally gets to be the confused one. Later, he calls actual Siobhan (who is still in Paris) and reads her the riot act. Realizing what must have happened, she tells him they'll talk when she "gets back" to Paris, but Tyler tells her not to bother, and there goes her Sugar Daddy.
Malcolm reconsiders Bridget's offer of help. When he arrives at Park Ave., Andrew is gracious because he's my little love dumpling. Since Malcolm came to "Shiv's" aid when she fainted, Andrew is willing to do what he can. Bridget tucks Malcolm in for the night, and the next day, she brings him to NA Charlie (instead of funding a stint in detox and rehab, which is arguably what he needs) for help. Oh Malcolm, you've just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Run away. Run away while you still can. You must have decent insurance, from your professor gig! He doesn't listen to me. He's too busy listening to NA Charlie's lie: "You did the right thing coming here." Grrr argh.
I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where we can't read your...can't read your...no we can't read your poker face.
We pick up right where we left off last week, so I'm not sure Bridget has even been in New York for three weeks, yet. In the hospital, the doctor says Bridget probably fainted due to vasovagal syncope, so it's no big deal (I've fainted with just that thing, twice, and it's not). When the doctor starts the ultrasound, she has trouble finding the fetus. Doc says that's because it's no bigger than a bean. No Doc, it's because there is no bean. When the doctor finally catches up with the audience, Bridget lamely offers that she did have some spotting, which she assumed was normal. The doctor speculates about an ectopic pregnancy and then shuts off the monitor, offers her sympathy for the Martins' loss and leaves them alone.
Park Ave.: Bridget apologizes to Andrew for the miscarriage. Andrew comforts her and tells her it's not her fault. A sweet, quiet, concerned Juliet brings Bridget some tea and asks her if it hurts, and what it feels like. Bridget: "It doesn't feel like anything...except sad." As soon as Andrew and Juliet leave Bridget to rest, Malcolm calls and tells her he's in room 610 of the motor inn on 95th, and that he needs to see her. Once Andrew is asleep, Bridget sneaks out.
Motor Inn: Malcolm and Bridget hug. She thought he was dead. He thought so too. I was actively praying for his death, at some points. I hope now that he's in New York, his story won't bore me so. Mal tells Bridget that Macawi held him for a week. When he finally broke free, he led Macawi to Seattle, before sneaking off to New York. He seems sure he wasn't followed. Don't be so sure of anything on this show, Malcolm. He wants Bridget to leave New York with him. She says she can't because she threw "Bridget" under the bus, by making the cops believe Bridget is involved in Gemma's disappearance.