Hi Ringlets. Welcome back. Speaking of backs, mine is down for the count this week, so this is going to be a rather quick and dirty weecap. I'm sorry about that. I can't sit up for long and I can't type while I'm lying down. I'm going to tell the story in related chunks, so it's less than chronological. I'll try to hit all the major details, though. You ready? Okay.
Shiv is back in Paris. During a doctor's appointment, she learns she's having twins. Her expected due date is a few weeks off from what she anticipated. "I conceived in mid-August." The doctor disagrees and assures her his estimate is accurate to within a day or two. It seems Andrew could be the father of his actual wife's children. Oh, no! Later, on the phone, it seems for a second that she might come clean with Tool Belt.
Shiv: But c'mon, this is me. Instead, I only reveal I am expecting twins.
Recapper: I'd feel sorry for him, if he weren't such a Tool Belt.
Audience: Word. Did you see how chuffed he was with that, "I'm two for two," business? Conventional wisdom is that identical twins are a fluke. Fraternal twins happen when the mother releases more than one egg during a cycle and they both get fertilized. Either way, the only thing Tool Belt is good at is sleeping with women who will conceive twins.
Recapper: And I doubt he's great at that, either.
Recapper's Mother: Do you think it's going to turn out that Andrew is the father of one kid and Tool Belt is the father of the other?
Recapper: I sure hope so! I can't decide if that due date stuff is a misdirect so that we won't expect it or if it's meant to confirm that only Andrew could be the father. I'm a little afraid we'll never know, because the show's ratings remain in the cellar.
Recapper's Mother: Well, the acting is good, but...
Recapper: I know, Mum. But I also know what other soap we both watch. This show is a soap. If anything, it's not over-the-top enough.
Andrew and Bridget come home from a night out with friends. They hear a woman screaming, but when they follow the sounds to the living room, Bridget realizes the screams are coming from the TV, which is magically playing her favorite movie -- Summer Camp Slasher. It looks like something SMG might have starred in back in the '90s. Andrew has arranged a movie night. He's even brought in a commercial popcorn cart and a tray full of concession stand candy. Additionally, he presents her with yet another ring and a proposal that they renew their vows.