Bridget doesn't take this opportunity to get the hell out of Dodge. No. She rushes back to the loft which is already full of the event staff, moving in chairs, rugs and whatnot. There's a fake out, where they're unrolling a rug just as Bridget enters. She yells, "Wait," sure that they're unwrapping Dead Guy, but nope, just a rug. Now, the event planner is not gay. He's ecstatic. As Bridget eyes the tarp wrapped lump in the corner that is Dead Guy, Ecstatic Event Planner (EEP) tells her she looks gorgeous as usual. "Per your suggestion, I went with a Titanic vibe, antiquated elegance, steamer trunks, violins, gin and tonics. It'll feel very Euro and travel-y and make people want to hand over their money. Do you like?" Bridget says she does and suggests they give the workers a break. EEP protests there's no time, but Bridget insists and hands him a wad of cash as she adds, "There's a bacon food truck downstairs and I'm buying." EEP: "Well, tempt me with trans-fats and I can't say no." Aren't trans-fats illegal in New York? And hey, bacon has its problems, but I don't think trans-fats are among them. I'm looking at you, nitrites. Deadly, delicious nitrites. Anyhow, EEP and crew take 20 minutes for lunch, leaving Bridget time to put dead guy in one of the huge steamer trunks. Now, it's only 20 minutes so there's sadly no way she had time to use that circular saw. How skinny little Bridget got Dead Guy in the trunk is beyond me, but I don't care with this kind of show. I'm just going with it. (Psssst. She can do it, because she's really Buffy.)
Park Ave.: As Bridget arrives home, she gets a text from Malcolm -- "Ready to go?" She texts back: "Gotta make sure a problem stays hidden." Just then, Miss Juliet comes bopping out in high heels, black skinny jeans, a white tank, and some sort of foofy black vest. Her bra trim, is of course, spilling out of the top of her tank, along with her breasts. Bridget: "You look like you're going to be...cold." Revel in the wardrobe judgment from our ex-stripper, people. It's fun. Juliet's all: "Save it." Bridget suggests that going out might not be the best idea and says she knows where she's headed and it's not pretty. Juliet says, "What the hell do you know?" Bridget: "A lot more than you think. I used to know a girl who partied a little too much. She did it because she felt alone and it sucked, but no one told her that she didn't have to feel that way. I don't want that for you. I know you don't care about me, but you might want to at least consider your dad in all this. He really loves you." Juliet's expression softens for a moment, but then she puts back up the walls and bitches, "You're hilarious, Siobhan. For a second it almost seemed like you gave a crap."













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