It's Juliet's first day at public school, so she's off to greet the masses, or so she thinks, but Andrew objects to the shorts she's wearing. Juliet objects to his objection, until Bridget calmly weighs in that they are a little "fabric challenged." You heard that too, right? She's totally Buffy. Juliet, not wanting to fight the Slayer, agrees to change. She also hands Bridget what's left of her drug stash, so that her room can remain in its non-ransacked state. My daughter pre-ransacks her room for me every morning, in a ritual she likes to call "getting ready for school."
At school, Juliet is immediately the target of the resident tough girl, Tessa, in her first class -- taught by Logan Echolls. Okay, if you didn't watch Veronica Mars (and not nearly enough of you did) the actor's name is Jason Dohring. On Ringer the delightful Dohring plays Mr. Carpenter. When the tension, that starts in his class, turns to fighting in the corridor, Juliet is hauled down to the Principal's office.
In a scene reminiscent of Sunnydale High's Principal Flutie reviewing Buffy's permanent record from L.A., this NYC principal is inclined to distrust Juliet, because she knows she was a druggie hellion at her last school. Since Juliet is the new girl, none of the student witnesses will admit that Tessa started it. A displeased Andrew is called in and does not believe Juliet, either. While Juliet waits for Andrew to finish his meeting with the principal, Carpenter checks in on Juliet. She's upset. She just wanted a fresh start. Something about her gets to him, so Carpenter lies to the principal, saying he saw the fight and Tessa started it. When Juliet wonders why covered for her, Carpenter explains that he's quite familiar with Tessa's M.O., and everyone deserves a fresh start. Aw, Logan.
Bridget has a busy day. She keeps trying to contact Gemma, and she's got to get rid of those damned drugs Juliet handed her. She calls the cute potential sponsor from Brooklyn -- Charlie. He meets her at a restaurant, takes them and throws them in the trash. Problem solved? Well, who knows on this show. Somewhere in there, Bridget learns from Andrew that Gemma called him all in a tizzy the night before, but when he got to her place, Henry said she wasn't home and hadn't been. Bridget's frantic to reach Gemma now, and even goes over to Gramercy Park. She only finds Henry who drags her in, tells her the state of his home when he got in last night, and accuses her of killing his wife. Bridget tells him he's crazy, and that cleaning up the blood was a bad idea, because it seems something really did happen to Gemma. Neither one believes the other innocent in Gemma's disappearance, and Henry has a reason to suspect "Shiv." Eight months ago, she proposed getting rid of Gemma and Andrew, and only laughed it off as a joke, when it was clear Henry wasn't on board. Later in the episode, Henry decides "Shiv" is telling him the truth and is stupid enough to tell her where he stashed the cleaning supplies and blood stained rags.
Bridget locates the dumpster. She's wearing gloves as she picks through the trash and locates the evidence. She then makes an anonymous call to the police, reporting Gemma missing and telling them where they can find evidence of foul play. It's not long before Machado gets a call from the cops, saying they've found Bridget Kelly's finger prints on the evidence in the Butler missing person case. In a flashback, it's revealed that Bridget purposefully planted it there. Oh, girl. I think you just outthought yourself.
Machado, by the way, spends much of the episode in Wyoming, searching for Malcolm. He suspects Macawi has done something with him, but he can't search the strip club without a warrant. By the time Machado finally gets into the club basement, Malcolm (who breaks this episode and is ready to give up Bridget) is gone.
The episode ends in Paris. Shiv gets a call, informing her, "The Gemma problem has been taken care of." Shiv says, "I didn't want it to have to come to this." Wow.
I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where Jason Dohring is keeping us all after school.
Welcome back, everyone. I know some of you have just been hanging in there, waiting for Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls on Veronica Mars) to appear. Your patience has been rewarded, so let's get to it, shall we?
We pick up right where the last episode left off, so Bridget is still only two weeks into assuming Shiv's life. I mention that, because people keep wondering how long she can fake this pregnancy (unless Bridget is also pregnant). In the show's chronology, it hasn't been all that long. Bridget tucks in an already sleeping Juliet. Andrew finally arrives home with Juliet's contrivance aspirin. He tells Bridget that Gemma called to tell him something important. "The thing is, when I got to the Butler's, Henry told me she wasn't there. That's a bit odd, right? The thing is, she sounded a bit off when we spoke, and so did Henry, for that matter. You wouldn't have any idea what she wanted to talk to me about?" Maybe how you're overusing "the thing is?" Bridget: "Not a clue." Girl, I hope you are wearing some preternaturally strong Depends under that black peignoir set. Andrew suggests Bridget call Gemma in the morning and make sure she's okay.
Gramercy Park: Henry bleaches the blood off his walls, cleans up the broken vase, and tosses the evidence in a trash bag, in a terrifically cheesy montage that ends with him glaring into the camera, and me making an appointment to get my cholesterol checked. Title card.
Park Ave., Morning: We hear Gemma's voice mail greeting: "You've reached Gemma. Don't be boring." I kind of love that. Bridget leaves a loaded, "I thought we came to an understanding" message ending with, "I would like to be the friend to you that my sister never was... if you'll let me." My word, she says too much in recordings. Andrew and Juliet enter the room, arguing about her short-shorts which he deems inappropriate, particularly on her first day of school. He's not exaggerating. I think I just accidentally gave her an internal examination. Bridget chimes in that they are a little "fabric-challenged" and everyone, everywhere, who ever watched at least 3 minutes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, yells out, "BUFFY, I TOTALLY KNEW IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME!" And then half of us whisper about the fabric challenged mini-skirts Buffy favored, especially in Season 1.