The Poor Kids Do It Every Day

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 2 USERS: A+
The Count of 3 Isn't a Plan. It's Sesame Street.

My mother wants you to pay attention to this next bit. While the girls are rolling around on the floor, Mr. Carpenter and Old Teacher see the commotion and push their way through the crowd. Juliet is on top when they break through, and Carpenter picks her right up off the floor and off Tessa. We don't know his first name yet, so can I still call him Logan? I can?! Thanks. Logan hands Juliet off to Old Teacher and a third teacher helps Tessa to her feet. Logan tells the girls, "It's over," and tells the other teachers to, "Take them away." My friend Christy gets all nostalgic for the OPJ who used to be, and tells Logan, "Wasn't that long ago that you were fighting in the halls!" I add, "And don't forget the bum fights!" Logan doesn't have time to walk down Memory Lane with Christy and me though, because he's got to condense his Taming of the Shrew lesson plans so he can get cracking on Romeo and... well, you know.

Park Ave: Bridget tries Gemma again, and I've heard the, "You've reached Gemma, don't be boring" greeting so many times now, that my love had turned to hate. B heads into her room and grabs Juliet's bag o' drugs. She's examining a little baggie of white powder, when someone wearing a rope bracelet (they still make those) grabs her from behind and puts his hand over her mouth. Oh look at the douche scarf. It must be Henry. Commercial.

It is Henry. He has let himself into the Martins' place with the key Shiv gave him. He came through the back. He just wants to talk. Okay, then what the hell is up with sneaking up on her and covering her mouth like that? Show, you know I'm having fun with you. I've been cheering you on. But that wasn't even schmuck bait, just a schmucky waste of my time. When he assures "Shiv" that he didn't hurt Gemma she tells him to call the police. He says he can't, now that he's cleaned up all the blood. "I couldn't look more guilty.... Oh wait, I could. I called my attorney yesterday, and told him to pull the trigger on a divorce. So? Gemma is reported missing. How long 'til the cops figure out that I was having an affair? And how long 'til they figure out the other woman was you." Pay attention to that last bit. Bridget sure does. Anyhow, she tells him he needs to go. Henry pleads for her help. As she sees him to the elevator, she tells him she needs some time to think. Once he's gone, the phone rings. It's NA Charlie.

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