What Are You Doing Here, Ho-Bag?

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
Trying To Get The Feeling, Again

Catherine: What is your problem, Shiv? This was totally my tub, first. Oh Juliet, my Angel.

Juliet: We're so close, and we'll always be close.

Audience: Yeah, not so much.

Network: Commercial...

Next morning at the penthouse...

Bridget: Juliet, want homemade blueberry pancakes?

Juliet: You? Cook?

Bridget: Look at this apron. I do not fool around.

Andrew: Thank you for letting Catherine staying even though you said she was like head lice. I always thought of her more like crabs. Clearly, Juliet needs her around. What's with the apron, though?

Bridget: That's what the kid needs -- a case of the crabs. As for the apron, I'm going all Martha Stewart.

Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.

Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.

Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she just doesn't like to.

Xander: Anya has a theory. She thinks that Martha Stewart froze that guy.

Recapper: What guy?

Anya: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.

Xander: Please, she...Really?

Anya: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

Recapper: Okay, will all the Buffy-people who were never actually Buffy, please exit this weecap, immediately? Thank you. Goodbye.

Andrew: Well, that was...awkward. I'm off to see the attorney about Mr. "Logan" Carpenter raping my daughter, now. I will do everything in my power to make sure they lock him up and throw away the key.

Catherine: Hold the elevator. I am taking Juliet out for breakfast, and shopping at the three B's. Oh, and Andrew... your credit card, please.

Bridget: But I made pancakes, or at least put on an apron. No fairsies!

On the mean streets of New York, Real-Siobhan calls Tyler Boytoy, who is still in Paris.

Tyler: Come back. I miss you and my baby who is in no way my baby. I'll book your airfare.

Siobhan: I'm pregnant, not incapable. I've gotten the information off Andrew's home computer. Solomon will get me out of town, unnoticed.

Siobhan walks into a pawn shop...

Siobhan: I have a $200,000.00+ ring. What will you give me for it?

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