What Are You Doing Here, Ho-Bag?

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
Trying To Get The Feeling, Again

Andrew: I thought it was Juliet, but I was wrong.

Recapper: Wait. How do you know it wasn't Juliet? I mean, we know it wasn't Juliet, but how do you know? Did the police or a pawnbroker tell you it was a blonde? Did you see a video of the transaction? What do you know, and how do you know it, Andrew.

Andrew: Regardless, I'm putting in a new security system, tomorrow. Also, I got the ring back, and now it fits you, too!

Bridget: Marry me? Oh, right, we're already "married." *Smoochie smoochie smooch*

Juliet: Daddy, can you come help me with mom? Just daddy.

Out in the living room, Catherine is looking at Juliet's baby pictures and SETTING THEM ON FIRE.

Catherine: I'm having a funeral for my daughter, the slut.

Recapper: That's a verbatim quote, btw.

Juliet: ???!!!???

Andrew: Get your skanky drunken ass and your dead animal pelts out of here.

Catherine: Dick!

Juliet: I'd just like to point out that I am a product of my environment, so you know, whether this whole rape charge turns out to be legit, or a farce, maybe you'll have a little sympathy for me.

The Internet: LOL. Have you met us?

Bridget goes to Juliet's room to do damage control.

Bridget: You mom has a problem. It's not you, it's her.

Juliet: She's never been happy, even when she and Daddy were together, and she always took it out on me.

Bridget: Did I ever tell you about my red and black cowboy boots with the flowers on the side?

Juliet: Redneck.

Bridget: Anyhow, my sister and I were spending the weekend with our dad. I forgot my boots, so I snuck back to my mom's house to get them, only to discover she had destroyed them.

Juliet: With a bitch mother like that, it's a wonder you didn't end up as a stripper/addict and possibly a prostitute -- one who might witness a murder and then go on the lam rather than give State's evidence in order to get out of the prostitution charges.

Bridget: *Cough* I know, right? Anyhow, the real reason my mother burnt the boots was because she was mad at my dad, who had a party to entice my sister and I to stay over. She was trying to get back at my dad. Knowing that made it a little easier.

Juliet: Okee dokee.

Over at the Fed Shed, Guyliner makes notes of all he knows on the Bridget Kelly/Siobhan Martin connection. They read:

NOTES: Siobhan Martin hired John Delario/Charlie Young. Delario finds Bridget Kelly, doesn't tell Martin. Delario and Kelly kidnap Gemma Butler for ransom. Delario kills Butler and Kelly kills Delario. Kelly tries to run as Cora Farrell.

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