Welcome back, Ringlets. I have to confess, I didn't come up with "Ringlets" on my own. The Ringer writers live-tweeted during the show last night, and used it. Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Faith taught me: "Want. Take. Have." I did and did and do. Now, I'm sharing with you. Let's get straight to the story, because we finally learn who Sean was, and how he's central to the rift between Mean Buffy and Nice Buffy.
However Many Years Ago: Siobhan has a relationship with Dylan (Misha Collins, Supernatural's Castiel). When she turns up pregnant, he turns out to be a deadbeat. Shiv gives birth to Sean. A couple of years later, Dylan decides he wants back in his son's life. Shiv is not the forgive-and-forget type, and probably had Dylan beaten up and run out of Tahoe at some point. (How far is Tahoe from Why-oh-Why Wyoming and Macawi's minions?) Still, Dylan persists in trying to be a father.
Bridget babysits Sean during the day, while Shiv works at a mystery job. Being Nice Buffy, when Dylan shows up with ticket to a big fair, Bridget agrees to let Sean go (she accompanies them), even though she knows Shiv would be displeased. On their way home from the fair, a car appears out of nowhere and crashes into Dylan's car. Sean is killed. When a sling-adorned Bridget shows up at Sean's funeral, Shiv severs their relationship.
Now: Bridget-as-Shiv gets confirmation that her annual floral delivery has been made to a woman in New Jersey, at that 1947 Main St. address (from last week). Bridget goes to check it out. The woman invites "Shiv" in, thanks her for the annual birthday flowers, but doesn't hide her surprise that "Shiv" is at her house. As Bridget looks around at her hostess's pictures, she realizes the woman must be Sean's grandma. Slightly freaked, she doesn't stay much longer. Later, Dylan poses as a floral delivery man, and returns the flowers to Park Ave. He and Bridget-as-Shiv have an uncomfortable exchange. He leaves. By episode's end, though, Bridget decides that since she's now Siobhan she should forgive Dylan, because she knows how bad it feels that Shiv never forgave her (Bridget) for her involvement in Sean's death. Nice Buffy is so nice.
Meanwhile, there's this whole big thing with Juliet's Wild Things plot. Tessa Troublemaker shows up at school in a $50,000.00 SUV. Juliet's all, "We were supposed to be discreet, yo." Tessa's all, "This is me being discreet. Don't worry. I'm keeping the rest of my $3,000,000.00 under the mattress." Juliet has a private word with Mr. Carpenter, who assures her he will "handle" it.
It's not long before someone beats the stuffing out of Tessa and takes all her money. Juliet is shaken. She visits the comatose Tessa at the hospital and meets her foster mother, who is sure Tessa must have been dealing drugs to end up with enough money to buy that car because, "Whores don't make that much." Juliet refrains from saying, "If I'm in an episode, I get to say the episode title, ya dig?!"
Juliet confronts Carpenter about beating up Tessa and taking her money. Carpenter seems totally shady as he denies his involvement. On this show, I think that means he's telling the truth. These people are usually only believable when they lie. Alone, Juliet makes a call to someone (who is not at all a mystery, but I'll play along for the moment, Show) and says, "Your plan is out of control." Later, Juliet meets this person and lays out the whole story to her (not a) mystery co-conspirator. The camera cuts to...her mom! Catherine, the people in our show thread had you pegged as the First Evil from the get-go.
There's much more, with Henry, Malcolm, a possible custody battle for Juliet (loser has to take her, I guess), and the whole crew. I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where members don't make that much.
Heya, everybody. I've not been shy about sharing that the hiatus adversely affected my enthusiasm for Ringer. This episode has aroused some of the pleasure I previously enjoyed in my guilty little pleasure show. The only problem is, I am so annoyed by the current public discourse on female sexuality, that I'm suffering an enormous hate-on for the official episode title. Between you, me, the lamppost and the world wide web, this episode will always be known to me by my homepage headline, "Buffy Versus Castiel." Get it. Got it? Good! Now the champagne is chilled. The bubble bath is bubbly. There are leftover Valentine chocolates on the vanity, right next to the trashy magazines. I've surrounded the tub with candles, so we're bathed flattering light. Put your hair up, and sink deep down into the tub, and let's indulge. One. Two. Three. Plunge.
The consensus in our show thread is that we're tired of the opening segment, so I'm not wasting my time on it. Sorry, Boo-boo faced Buffy, but I'm fast forwarding. We open on Bridget showing Malcolm Shiv's secret Harlem office. In the two days since Bridget was there, the place has been cleared out. Bridget tells Malcolm about the key on the silver boat-shaped keyring, and about the woman's footprints Solomon found in the closet. Malcolm finds this worrisome, so he installs a tracking application on his cell phone and Bridget's. "Now we'll always be able to find each other." For a second, I think I'm writing about Once Upon A Time, because Prince Charming's big line to Snow White is, "I will always find you." Yes, the shows are totally different, but my writing times for them overlap, so I'm usually working on both shows at once. I have three kids home on vacation this week. And? Some of the main OUAT characters are named Henry, Emma, and Kathryn. On Ringer we have Henry, Gemma (RIP, Red), and Catherine. I get a little dizzy, is what I'm saying. Anyhow, Nice Buffy gives Malcolm a big thank you hug and tells him he's the best.
Over at Park Ave...
Andrew: I am dapper, darling and you don't really care about this financial mumbo jumbo I'm blathering into the phone. Just enjoy my me-ness.
Catherine: I'm here, and I might even be sober.
Ginormous Photographic Shrine to Shiv's Vanity: I'm just looming over everyone.
Catherine: So, ex-husband, how about I take our kid, you know -- the one whose baby pictures I burnt up -- in front of her -- just days ago. How about I take her back to Miami?