Mehgan once again warns James about blacking out, making sure to collect her hundred bucks every time she hammers home the danger of a black-out from B/M later. (Shit! I go back to the beginning of the tape to make sure I'd been spelling the mayor's name right -- I haven't. Quick Find/Replace. Thanks Meghghghan. Go slap your parents for me.) Three screens. Theo watching. James diving from the raft. Shot from way deep in the water up. Theo talks to the television like his mama talking back to her stories. Only instead of "I cain't believe you're marrying that scumbag Tad!" it's "C'mon. C'mon. Dude. Kick kick kick." James does a good job of not ascending too quickly, and comes up with the flag. Everyone cheers. B/M editors still sticking with the three screens. You go ahead, people. Do whatever you want. I told you I've given up. Theo mumbles something as we go Timecode again with Msaada on one side, going for twenty feet, and Kathryn on the other, going for twenty-one. Crappy music. No tension. B/M proud of their watercam. They both make it. Cheers. Msaada puts the two flags together on the boat -- and it already looks like the clue is going to be some obscure country's flag. Back to the Timecode as Laterrian goes for twenty and Holly for twenty-three. Mehgan takes a Picabo-esque interest in Holly, giving her extra-special tips before she dives. Mehgan wants to dive. Anyway, they both make it. Holly close-talks to Mehgan about having wanted to go "farther" (ooooooh), while Laterrian, panicking, hits Mehgan, who is simply trying to slow his ascent. Then when he grabs the raft he lies, "That was fun." Heh. On the boat, Holly tries to advise Theo to use weight belts, which help with the descent, but Theo declines. Holly looks sad as someone else also tries to convince Theo to use a belt. As the camera moves around, we are treated to a quick shot of Holly picking her wetsuit from her vagina. Regarding the belt, Theo says, "I just don't want it so easy all the time." Vagina-picking over, Holly goes floaty and complains about Theo being so stubborn about the whole dive. Theo is now on the raft and voice-overs, "Oh, I'm pumped. I'm cool. Nobody knows it, but I've been urinating on myself. I'm pretty much on, like, a urine high. I'm ready to dive." That's it! I quit, MBTV! Jeez. Mehghghghghghgan babbles. Theo dives. B/M editors do their thing. The kids watch the TV. Theo grabs the flag, voice-overing that he's out of air...but that's about it. He comes up fine. Msaada watches. Theo surfaces. Everyone says a secret "damn" that he made it, but they quickly cover and cheer and clap. James exhales. Holly lies, floating that she's glad Theo didn't hurt himself. No cheek star. Has the disease cleared up? Did she buy the right salve? (And while we're asking questions, what happened to the fucking Real World mechanical dog?) B/M continues to try to force a Perfect Strangers-type happy ending for each episode as Holly here says that she's proud of Theo...even though a minute ago she was complaining about him...and picking at her vagina...which isn't really relevant but I just like saying it.
Episode Report Card536 USERS: C+
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