Meanwhile (you know, I have no idea if it's "meanwhile" -- this could be fucking days from now for all B/M can be trusted with a timeline), Laterrian and Theo -- or "Blacker and the Cracker" as their TV show might be named -- ask some guys to tell them how to reach the waterfalls. Theo wisely tries to bridge the language gap simply by making sure to over-enunciate the "t" in "waterfalls." It doesn't work. He next tries the worst miming I've seen since my epileptic Uncle Marty tried to do "trapped in a box" for my fifth birthday party. Laterrian simply points and the guys wave them in the right direction. Mannheim Steamroller lends some really peaceful and evocative tracks from their upcoming Arbor Day album to provide background for L.T. and Theo's hike up to the waterfalls. They arrive at some beautiful, very tall waterfalls, and Laterrian utters a timeless and intensely quotable phrase to commemorate the moment and to really put it all into perspective: "Wow. Look at...uh. All the, um...rainbows, yo." There are five rainbows, and Theo and L.T. stand next to each other looking up at them, and Theo wonders silently if James would be mad if he kissed Laterrian; the moment is just too perfect to pass up.
Eight days ago maybe, back at the village, the cow is tied up and forced down as the kids watch in sadness and curiosity and mixed-emotion-hood. Cut back to the new couple taking pictures of the rainbows. Tribal music plays. Back to the cow. Back to a now shirtless L.T. and Theo frolicking in the water. Cow. Happy couple. Cow. Couple. Cow. Couple. Faster and faster. So basically, these film geeks who B/M -- for some unknown reason -- have obviously farmed this episode to, have also seen Apocolypse Now a few damn too many times. Any minute now, I expect Marlon Brando to whisper, "I think I swallowed a bug." The cow is killed. Theo yells a tribal-happy-gay-waterfall yell. Kathryn mouths, "Oh my God." Theo yells. Splashes. Kathryn turns to Msaada for comfort. Theo. Vu hugs Kathryn. Then Vu starts singing along with the clapping. She really does have the most amazing voice, for a lampshade-wearing, Nell Carter-looking, cow-killing, traditional-healing, Mooti licker. Holly sadly pokes the ground with a stick because she couldn't summon tears and therefore couldn't summon Vu or the cameras and she really has just as much to offer as Kathryn and, damn, will she ever live down the incident when she yelled at the cameraman? I mean, will she have to fucking pay forever?! Back at the waterfall, and Laterrian and Theo are all wet and look very satisfied. Laterrian says rashly that it was probably the single greatest moment in his life. Theo is that good?! Theo smiles and agrees with him -- that he and Laterrian really have some insanely wonderful chemistry -- saying, "Talk about some traditional healing. That'll pretty much heal anybody, I think." Theo tells the camera how much fun he had. (Note: There is a slight possibility that they might have been talking about the waterfall here, and not gay mountain sex.)









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