Road Rules
Desert Dueling

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This Is What Happens

Blair lies that it's zero to zero now. Katie opines that they just go out and have a good time. Geniuses, all. They say they're not going to lose. They leave the Tioga. Well, that was inspiring and motivational. They're about as good motivational speakers as Bob Patterson. Come to think of it, their shows are similar in quality as well.

Adam steps off the RV and they hold out this ugly-ass flag of the crest that they made and they tell the dumbfounded Real World kids that this is their "secret weapon" and that they have "unfinished business." No one has any reaction to this lameness. Finally, Nicole disses them, clapping, "Good job, guys." Hee. Our kids don't get it. Blair, all serious, says that they have a flag they made -- as Adam puts it on the front of the Tioga -- and it proves to the others that they won't lose. Ooookay.

It's dusk, and the second game is the Mummy Wrap. Katie camera-talks that each team gets to pick the two who are getting wrapped up from the other team. Adam floats that the two will be wrapped up and put in a tiny coffin together to spend the night. Yikes. Blair says that whoever stays in the longest wins. Man, that sucks. The Real World kids discuss whom to pick. So do our kids. I can't hear what they're saying, but really, who cares. The Real World kids pick Adam and Katie. Our kids pick Rachel and Nicole. (I would have made Mike and Coral stay in there together, frankly.) Adam and Katie explain that they picked Nicole because she's not a team player (and because she's a man, baby!), and Rachel because she's claustrophobic. We indeed see Rachel crying. Kevin tries to chill her out. She's scared. Nicole bitches that she had better cry now and not in the coffin, because it'll get her started. Hee. The two picked from each side are then put standing face to face and their team wraps them, in what looks like a fast-motion Benny Hill sketch. Dude, seriously, I would not want to do this. I imagine it's not as bad as they're making it seem and that they let them out for breaks and shit, because B/M are pussies, but regardless, this sucks. They carry the two screaming bundles into this dark room with candles, shove them in the boxes, and leave, mumbling, "Goodnight."

Darkness. Finally we see the coffins again. "I can't breathe. I can't breathe!" we hear. Rachel says that there is no other way to lie, and that she's freaking out. Adam yells that they have mental fortitude, and Katie says that they're used to living in confined spaces. Ah, a Psyche Ops campaign. Pretty sneaky. Adam floats that they have pride and will sacrifice, while Nicole, wearing denim pants on her chest, says it's the money that's important to her. Nicole yells, trying to get the others to quit, while Rachel says that she'll give them five hundred dollars if they give up. A clerk checks on them. Adam makes a mistake by asking when was the last time they worked as a team, basically shaming Nicole and Rachel into staying. Good job, ADD boy. Katie yells that they're staying until morning. Shot of the moon.

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Road Rules

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