Road Rules
Desert Dueling

Episode Report Card
Stee: B | Grade It Now!
This Is What Happens

Now Blair and Malik go. Funk music starts because...well, Malik is black and that's what you do when a black person is on screen, right B/M? We see that Steve has his hand bandaged, I guess from the fight. He's all changed and shit, too. After all, this is, like, six hours later. Katie now floats that with Coral and Nicole bitching, the other RW-ers got sick of it and migrated to the RR side. One Hour Later. Everyone is all asleep and shit. Blair voice-overs that they both decided to quit, so they stop and hug. I would not hug another oily guy, but that's just my own issue. I can't believe the girls almost killed each other, going for nearly three hours, and the skinny boys give up after an hour. Pussies. (Shit, I might have pulled a Nicole myself, but hey, I get to talk smack here.)

So now it's 3 to 2 in favor of Road Rules and Katie is going to fight Rachel since Nicole has refused; if Katie wins this, it's all over. The fighting begins. It's pretty lame. Adam is coaching her. All the boys are. Twenty minutes later, it's over. Rachel is barely flailing. Hee. It's over, 4 to 2.

Mustapha gives them the check for six thousand dollars. Our kids cheer. Blair floats that the trophy will forever stay on the RV, and will never end up in a house, he promises us. Well, until they cancel Road Rules next year, maybe.

People hug. Kevin, reading a script from B/M, tells our kids that he's proud and impressed how well they all work as a team and with three petty people on his team, he is particularly impressed and would love to be on their team and blah blah blah fakespeechcakes. Adam camera-talks that maybe the RW-ers got something from watching how the RR team came together. Ellen floats that she thinks the RW-ers benefited just from watching the RR-ers and seeing how, despite their differences, they can work together. Ooh, yeah -- just by being with you, they benefited. They most benefited when you blew the three RW guys later that night. Everyone is hugging, and maybe it's the same day still as the Real World kids get on a short bus. Lori is still all fucked up and Steve's hand is jacked and Blair has on a neck bandage. More hugs. Adam and Mike even hug. Oh, Ellen is still talking. She says that these are people you're with, and you need to look beyond the stupid stuff and make the most of every bleh. Waving. Waving. The short bus goes away.

Now our kids are on top of their Tioga with the coffin top, and Adam is voice-overing that you don't usually see "this type of unity" outside a family. Since when the fuck are they so unified and shit? Is it just in comparison to the RW-ers? I'm confused. We end with Adam floating that "Bassek is [his] family." Well, isn't that special.

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Road Rules




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