Road Rules
Falling Head Over Heals

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!

On the ground, the kids say that Jisela's attitude with the trainers "sucks." High up on the cliff now, Jisela floats that she's very scared. She uses the fact that she doesn't know the instructors to somehow justify her not wanting to climb. Poor Spanish guys. She yells down to them that she wants to come down. She starts climbing down. Blair and ADDam say that tomorrow they will have to do this by themselves -- that no one will be down on the ground to belay them. They discuss it in muffled tones. Stunning television, people. Back on the rock, Jisela yells at one of the guys to stop lying to her. "You said you were coming with me, Papi, or whatever your name is," she says. Goddamn, what a bitch. You have to sort of feel sorry for her because she wasn't allowed to cry as a kid so now all she can do is Jisyell at people when she's scared, but then at some point you just go, "Bitch." Those dudes should just throw her off the mountain. How upset are they now that they ever got involved with B/M? Pretty much the same as everyone in the world who has gotten involved with them. Except for that Eric Nies. He loves him some B/M.

Jisela is on the ground now; she comes over to the group and jokes that she's going to cry in the bushes. She then grabs Sophia and does cry. Sophia floats that she wishes Jisela would do her. No, she says that she wishes Jisela would not be so controlling and bitchy so that people would see the cool girl Sophia sees in Jisela, and that Jisela's someone worth knowing. "Yeah, y'all should really see Bobby Joe when he's not drunk and beating the shit out of me, then you'd see that deep down he's really a great man!"

Carlos talks to the kids, telling them that training is complete and that they should wear the same clothes tomorrow and they should also wear a swimsuit and deep down you can tell he hates the shit out of these fucking American kids but he has already sunk money into this stupid company and Tomas said the kids love the Road Rules so they should do a deal with them and now they have to deal with this shit and man, is Tomas on Carlos's shit list now. Ellen floats that "the weakest link" is obviously Jisela, and that if she does fall, Ellen will have no sympathy for Jisela because she was yelling at the people trying to help her. Man alive. Things are really bad when Ellen is making the most sense, huh? Sheesh.

Train. Day. The kids Stand By Me down some train tracks and then eat outside at this train station. Close-up of a cat. Now Adam floats that he has food poisoning, and we see him puking (thanks again, B/M); he says he's not happy with the food. Man, I hope he doesn't puke out his meds. Ellen comes out of the RV to help him, carrying a roll of paper towels. Hee. She then stands right behind him as he bends over, puking. I wouldn't stand right behind someone with food poisoning. I'm just saying. Adam floats some bullshit about being prepared, but then something happens that you can't foresee and you fail the mission. Adam says that he's having chills, and then Ellen is rubbing his leg in a waiting room and Adam is suddenly on the table with a nurse doing tests. Ellen floats that she knows she makes poor judgements when it comes to guys, and that when she starts caring about someone, her heart "just goes." We see her putting a blanket on Adam, who is shaking. Adam floats that Ellen is taking care of him, and that they've had their ups and downs but that it means a lot that Ellen is there and man, this is dull. We see a doctor writing out prescriptions. The doctor tells Adam that he can eat carrot soup. What the fuck is carrot soup? Sounds terrible. ["Actually, there's a place by us that makes carrot-and-ginger soup; it's really good." -- Wing Chun] So now they're on the Tioga and Adam is smiling in Ellen's lap and the Tioga drives into the setting sun.

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Road Rules




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