Previously on Road Rules...Witness the Mating Ritual of the Stupid, as Holly and James trade scar stories in an unintentional homage to Jaws and Lethal Weapon 3. "Scar stories are the best," shrieks Holly. Holly, in her initial interview, said that she'll "try anything twice." James, I'm sure, wonders if that includes him.
The Road Master lays out the thrust of the season in the show's new introduction. Cheesy music plays as we see quick clips from upcoming missions, and photos of the cast that look like a cross between actor head-shots and SNL cast photos from one of the really unfunny years.
The kids enter the Shasta as the Graphic of Bunim-Murray Desperation dubs this segment, "Frosty Face Off." The Road Master, or "Scary Man," as B/M secretly forces the kids to call him, makes one of his highly unwelcome appearances on the Shasta's TV. No shit, but the Road Master looks like he's aged quite a bit since last week. Maybe he's been reading all the smack talked about him in our forums. Poor guy. This poor man's Max Headroom tells us that "speed is a funny thing. Some people love it, some people tremble at the thought of it" -- a line, and line reading, that tells us that though he might have aged, he's still the same crappy Road Master we all know and dislike. We get shots of the cast laughing, presumably shot while someone was telling a joke or someone fell down or something, because the RM is certainly not amusing. RM does his little Breaking The Fourth Wall thing again by talking directly to the daredevil Holly. The director of the RM segment falls asleep as he forgets to rein the hammy actor in on the line, "Dear sweet Holly...have you ever broken your neck!" SAG promptly kicks the actor out of the union, so we can look forward to a new RM next week. Holly, meanwhile, begins convulsing and falls to the floor in a fit of hysterics; it is now abundantly clear that Holly Loves Attention, even if it comes from Min Headroom. "Why is he picking on me?" she shrieks, looking around to make sure everyone is still watching her. As the kids read email, James makes strange excited cooing noises. Damn, he loves that iBook; I think B/M better make sure he doesn't try to make off with it at the end of the season. The email mentions something about snow and we cut to Holly once again reliving her two minutes of RM-bestowed fame. "Sweet Holly," she preens. One gets the sense that about two-hundred minutes of footage from that evening was left on the floor -- Holly saying, "Did you hear how the Road Master was talking to me? All to me. That was funny, huh? Oh my god I was soooooo embarrassed. And scared...Hey remember when the Road Master was talking to me? To me. Dear sweet Holly, he said. Remember that? Hey guys, remember that!"