Road Rules

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | 337 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Old People Are Stupid

The kids find out their next mission is for the Crest of Ingenuity. Man, I'm glad there is no Crest of Spelling, because I would never get it. I would, however, get the Crest of Sleepy. Pink couch. Toucan. Hello! The clue says that they have to take "a leap of faith," and Ellen puts forth this stunning declaration: "What I take from it is that we're literally going to be leaping...off a plane, a bridge, a mountain." The kids arrive somewhere and see a big crane and Katie yells so that only dogs all around Spain can hear, "We are bungee-jumping!!!" Sophia says that her heart is going to exploded as this is even bigger than their BASE jump. ExpoADDam explains that there is a gorge under a bridge and they'll be jumping from a crane down into the gorge. Thanks.

They meet their trainer, Oscar, who explains that to get the crest piece, they have to find six people with whom to jump; their six new partners must have a combined age of 300 years. They will be tandem jumping, two at a time, backwards. Adam has the Road Rules sign painted on his face. They don't explain it, so I'm not going to care. Basically, they have six hours in which to accomplish this -- jump, that is, not try to make me care. That would take a whole fucking lot longer than that. Blair tells Adam that he might want to wash the sign off his face or no one will want to jump with him. The kids head off to find some old people.

Looking For Old People montage. They talk to various old people -- Ellen and Adam being the only Spanish speakers -- trying to get the old people to jump with them. No one will. Ellen's left eye goes crazy, searching the stars for help as she explains to us that people look at them like they're in a cult asking them to jump to their death with them and why won't they just give them a chance? Man, you can't handle my pronouns, can you, fuckers? A red-faced guy turns Ellen down. A woman turns Blair down. Steve -- HiSteve! -- explains to old people; they walk away, but he grabs them. Hee. Steve floats that people give one of two reactions: "disgust" and "I can't believe you would ask me this stupid question." An English gentleman politely says, "I don't think we will." Sophia complains that since neither she nor Katie speak Spanish, they're relying on Ellen. Suck. Old people dis the girls. Sophia begs a guy who we learn is named Manuel. Sophia in on her knees in front of a man. Well, there's a first time for everything. He says he has to think about it. Ellen tells Sophia to show him her boobs. The kids bitch to Oscar. He says they need to try harder -- offer to clean their houses or something. Adam floats, "We're screwed." He sees a "recovery mission" in their future. Blair yells, "Somebody jump with me!" Ellen walks. Commercials. Finally. Wake me up when they're Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Road Rules

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