Road Rules

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | 337 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Old People Are Stupid

Katie is strapped in. She doesn't want to do this, but they go up. She can't. She can't. She doesn't want to. Oscar talks her into it. She's scared. Ellen yells that she's making a movie. (Jigga-what? Oh, she's holding a video camera. Huh. I bet she uses that a lot.) Duane holds onto her and they go. They're done. "I'm such a wimp. I hate it," says Katie. She liked it but doesn't want to go again. She thanks Duane. He risks life and limb and gets nothing. Sucks. Adam runs over and says that he and Blair found two British women to jump with them. Adam introduces the old bird Ann and says, "How old are you?" She should really slap him. How rude. But she says she's fifty-six. They're strapped in and Ann is scared of heights. Suddenly they're up and they jump and this song is terrible. Down now, Adam congratulates Ann for not even screaming. She says she was too frightened. She's funny. Again. Sophia is talking to her Manuel guy. He's forty-eight. He wants to watch someone jump first. So they wait. Voirrey from England is fifty-nine and she's funny and tells us that she's entrusting her life to Blair, who she's just met. "It's going to be a blast," she says. They jump. The song continues to kill small animals and pets. Voirrey had fun. Sophia now goes to find Manuel but can't. He bailed. Hee! Sophia floats that she and Steve need to find people aged 103 total.

Steve has an American woman, Diane, who's fifty-three. He says he'll hold her, and that he's a very comforting guy and she can look into his eyes. Steve, all trying to get freaky with the middle-aged coochie. They're up and they jump. Diane can't believe they jump from that high, but they go. The song! Again! Fucking hell. Diane says that Steve was her savior but screamed louder than she did. Steve is gone. He doesn't like her so much anymore. Poor Diane.

Well, "poor Sophia," too, because she has a mere ten minutes to find someone. Random people float that they're screwed. Adam finds a sixty-eight-year-old dude who will go. He's crazy, we see. Adam floats that he came up out of nowhere (B/M paid him) and said he'll go and won't stop talking. So on the way up, the old guy -- Osvaldo -- and Oscar are yelling and having a good ol' time in Spanish, and Sophia is just scared. The guy is nutty. Awesome and wacky, but a fruitcake. He's a bad-ass. On the platform, Sophia is scared and Ellen floats that Sophia doesn't like heights and the Crack Editing Staff does a bunch of slo-mo shit as Sophia explains, and we hear, that she asked for a few minutes and they said that they just need to jump and everyone is watching and she asks them not to rush her and Oscar is trying to pry her hand loose and Osvaldo just goes and instead of letting go, Sophia grabs on tighter so the old dude falls and eventually she gets snapped off and they swing into each other and everyone watching screams and they're gone and Ellen yells, "Sophia!" and we go to commercials, Sophia having murdered a friendly old Spaniard. Just like every week.

Road Rules

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