Road Rules
Hanging By A Line

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
Old People Are Stupid

The kids climb into the Tioga. On the phone with a friend, Ellen talks about her father. She says that her father told her that they were praying for her every night. At the front of the Tioga, Sophia talks to her "Papi." We keep cutting back and forth between two phone calls that were probably not even on the same day. Blair floats that Ellen is worried her parents are going to think they raised her the wrong way. Sophia floats again that her father means the world to her. Ellen. Sophia. Ellen. Sophia. Ellen tells her friend that she feels like the black sheep and doesn't want her parents knowing the things she does; basically, she doesn't want her folks to know the things she puts in her mouth: alcohol, cigarettes, cock. Sophia now. She forces her dad to say that he loves her. She floats that she's more scared of telling her father she likes pussy than anything. She tells her father she loves him. She then camera-talks that she's cherishing every time she talks to him, because if she comes out and he disowns her, it might be the last time they talk, or the last time he looks her in the eye. She tears up as she tells us this. Now Blair floats again the 'tarded theory that Sophia and Ellen should bond over their daddy issues. Go eat something, nosy.

The kids find out their next mission is for the Crest of Ingenuity. Man, I'm glad there is no Crest of Spelling, because I would never get it. I would, however, get the Crest of Sleepy. Pink couch. Toucan. Hello! The clue says that they have to take "a leap of faith," and Ellen puts forth this stunning declaration: "What I take from it is that we're literally going to be a plane, a bridge, a mountain." The kids arrive somewhere and see a big crane and Katie yells so that only dogs all around Spain can hear, "We are bungee-jumping!!!" Sophia says that her heart is going to exploded as this is even bigger than their BASE jump. ExpoADDam explains that there is a gorge under a bridge and they'll be jumping from a crane down into the gorge. Thanks.

They meet their trainer, Oscar, who explains that to get the crest piece, they have to find six people with whom to jump; their six new partners must have a combined age of 300 years. They will be tandem jumping, two at a time, backwards. Adam has the Road Rules sign painted on his face. They don't explain it, so I'm not going to care. Basically, they have six hours in which to accomplish this -- jump, that is, not try to make me care. That would take a whole fucking lot longer than that. Blair tells Adam that he might want to wash the sign off his face or no one will want to jump with him. The kids head off to find some old people.

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Road Rules




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