Road Rules
Hanging By A Line

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Old People Are Stupid

Looking For Old People montage. They talk to various old people -- Ellen and Adam being the only Spanish speakers -- trying to get the old people to jump with them. No one will. Ellen's left eye goes crazy, searching the stars for help as she explains to us that people look at them like they're in a cult asking them to jump to their death with them and why won't they just give them a chance? Man, you can't handle my pronouns, can you, fuckers? A red-faced guy turns Ellen down. A woman turns Blair down. Steve -- HiSteve! -- explains to old people; they walk away, but he grabs them. Hee. Steve floats that people give one of two reactions: "disgust" and "I can't believe you would ask me this stupid question." An English gentleman politely says, "I don't think we will." Sophia complains that since neither she nor Katie speak Spanish, they're relying on Ellen. Suck. Old people dis the girls. Sophia begs a guy who we learn is named Manuel. Sophia in on her knees in front of a man. Well, there's a first time for everything. He says he has to think about it. Ellen tells Sophia to show him her boobs. The kids bitch to Oscar. He says they need to try harder -- offer to clean their houses or something. Adam floats, "We're screwed." He sees a "recovery mission" in their future. Blair yells, "Somebody jump with me!" Ellen walks. Commercials. Finally. Wake me up when they're Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Back. Suck. Crane. They go back out to find people. Ellen is determined. How inspiring. Ellen does get a guy in his late forties: Rafael. She's happy, she tells us. Sophia is thankful. As a worker straps her in, he asks, "First time?" She answers, "Uh, yeah. First time." That's what she tells all the guys. Oscar shows how they jump backwards and then she tells us that she feels like she's going to barf all over herself. They're up on the crane now, and the closed captioning just says, "(Ellen moaning)," which is funny, and she feels pressure, and say what you will, but Ellen usually does get the job done. Sophia says that she hopes Ellen doesn't back out and Ellen hopes her nervousness doesn't spread to anyone else and there is the countdown and they jump! Everyone is watching and cheering. She thanks Rafael. Ellen then floats, "I can't even put it into words, but I need to put that aside right now because there are five other people who need to find partners and we have less than five hours." Hee. She has to put aside the fact that she can't even put it into words. Brilliant!

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