Road Rules
Hanging By A Line

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
Old People Are Stupid

Well, "poor Sophia," too, because she has a mere ten minutes to find someone. Random people float that they're screwed. Adam finds a sixty-eight-year-old dude who will go. He's crazy, we see. Adam floats that he came up out of nowhere (B/M paid him) and said he'll go and won't stop talking. So on the way up, the old guy -- Osvaldo -- and Oscar are yelling and having a good ol' time in Spanish, and Sophia is just scared. The guy is nutty. Awesome and wacky, but a fruitcake. He's a bad-ass. On the platform, Sophia is scared and Ellen floats that Sophia doesn't like heights and the Crack Editing Staff does a bunch of slo-mo shit as Sophia explains, and we hear, that she asked for a few minutes and they said that they just need to jump and everyone is watching and she asks them not to rush her and Oscar is trying to pry her hand loose and Osvaldo just goes and instead of letting go, Sophia grabs on tighter so the old dude falls and eventually she gets snapped off and they swing into each other and everyone watching screams and they're gone and Ellen yells, "Sophia!" and we go to commercials, Sophia having murdered a friendly old Spaniard. Just like every week.

We're back. We get more shots of the accident and everyone is yelling and finally they yell for Sophia to give a "thumbs-up" if she's okay and she is and Katie's hand is shaking. I can't believe they're not dead or hurt. They're let down and everyone rushes to Sophia but they ignore the poor old dude. Sophia says, "This guy's a fucking lunatic." Oh fuck off, you almost killed the poor guy by holding on. Suddenly, just like that, I hate Sophia. I'll get over it, but she almost killed him! They do a group hug and finally Sophia goes to the old dude and he says to her, "You almost died!" He's not pissed or suing, though. Surprisingly. Yet. Adam and Blair are making fun of the cheerful dude right in front of him and he should clock the young American douchebags, but he doesn't and we fade to a stupid shot of the bridge.

Oscar gives the kids the Crest of Ingenuity and Sophia takes it and there are cheers and Ellen tells us that now she knows no one is going home and I guess this mission is near the end? I don't know. Whatever. Sophia floats some bullshit B/M makes her say about Ellen helping her find someone to jump with, and it shows that Ellen is very determined and builds "a little bit more respect." Crap. The editors know it's all crap because they just stop the music cold and move on to the next segment.

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Road Rules




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