Road Rules

Episode Report Card
Stee: C | 364 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Sucking And Entering

Night. The hotel. The kids enter, and the Graphic of Stupid tells us that they're in the Hotel Tryp Gran Sol in Alicante. Bless you. They go up to their room, where all this gear is laid out. They breathlessly guess that they're "spelunking." Good thing it's not "spelling," because they'd fail that for sure. They find a tape recorder and hit play and it's all "Your mission, should you choose to accept it" and shit. They have to infiltrate the Castillo De Santa Barbara and steal their crest piece. They go out on the balcony and see the castle. The kids get dressed as the tape goes on to say that they have night-vision goggles and smoke cans and head lamps and rope and walkie-talkies to aid in their mission. Katie floats, no doubt talking about some totally different mission, that she's terrified. Commercials.

Poor Orlando Jones. With his constant crap movies, does he realize he's most likely going to forever be known as "The 7-Up Guy"? Well, him and that fat Jamaican dude from way back. That sucks.

We're back. "O Fortuna!" or whatever that massively-overused opera piece is playing as the kids get ready; Sophia jokes that her name is no longer Sophia but "Night Hawk." The tape continues to say that, in the castle, they'll find a well. Over a shot of the castle, we get a "Missile Command"-era graphic of a well with a light at the bottom. Seriously, the shit is like Tron. Basically, B/M gave them an Atari 2600 to do their graphics. So then they'll have to get the key to open the room the crest is in. Steve camera-talks about how psyched he is. The tape goes on to say that there is a laser-beam alarm system around the crest, and more crap graphics and more crap song and more crap talking and crapity crap crap. Blair and Steve stand against a wall all spy-like, dressed in the gear. Blair correctly predicts that this is going to be the coolest thing he'll ever do in his life as Steve tells us that while living in the box he played hours of "Tomb Raider" and thus he's psyched and ready. Shots. Guards. Slo-Mo flag.

Road Rules

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